Maybe we are rabbits...

The end.

2009-08-21T19:32:00.005-04:00

This has been a summer of change. While we set out to capture the experiences going raw, so many other things were in transition at the same time. Madeline started working full time, I graduated and will be starting grad school on Monday. We've learned so much about ourselves and have grown in so many ways.

The biggest change occurred several weeks ago, though, and we've been dealing with the aftermath ever since. After 5 years, Madeline and I have broken up. It was swift and sudden, unexpected and devastating. Certainly we struggled with our fair share of friction inherent in a relationship, but I truly did not expect things to end this way.

Dividing a shared household is messy. I am moving out, into my own apartment, in one week. I am taking the two older cats, Ruthie and Naomi. Mad is keeping Fred and Ethel.

I am heartbroken, but committed to strength, creating a new life for myself and starting over. I am thinking about starting a new blog, single-girl-takes-on-the-world-kind-of-thing. Some cooking, some decorating, knitting. I will not post a link here, but leave me a comment or send me a message if you'd like to be notified. It's just an idea at the moment, though. It may not come to fruition.

The end of a relationship is like a death, in some fashion. The loss of what was, of who we used to be, and everything we had. There is no opportunity for reconciliation. We crashed and burned rather spectacularly. But I deeply mourn the loss of our potential. I wanted so much more.

I want to end this blog with a memorial of us when we were happy together.

November 2004, one month after we began dating:

May 2009:

The end.

-Eloise

Now with 90% more knitting!

2009-07-21T17:08:00.008-04:00

So my blog has felt completely unmoored by the lack of raw foodism going on around here, which is good for me, but leaves little writing fodder. And as it turns out, I like to write.

I am, however, a girl of obsession - if not food, then school or another project- and my longest running obsession has been my aforementioned knitting habit. I love to the think about projects and yarn, pairings of color and construction details. I rarely work from patterns, preferring to sit down with a tape measure, a calculator , graph paper and my trusty copy of Vogue Knitting to calculate the things in my head. My favorite phase of knitting comes prior to picking up the needles, that breathy anticipation of possibility. I am the seemingly rare monogamous knitting who works on one project straight through to completion.

This summer has been particularly fruitful (ha! fruitful. I slay me.) in the knits. I've cranked out a half dozen kerchief scarves since spring, which are my favorite accessory. I have also knit 1.5 sweaters. Although it feels more like three or four, since the 2nd sweater has been frogged twice at near completion due to some serious shaping flaws. And I have this cardigan that's been flowering in my head all afternoon.

It ebbs and flows. Last week I was feeling very stagnant, frustrated with the constant frogging-and-reknitting that my current project seemed to require, but today I feel excited and energized. So much so that I logged into blog about my love of knitting.

It's an odd coincidence, then, that as soon as I logged in, the first post to appear on my blog reading list was Jacey's latest podcast over at Insubordiknit. I have a crazy knitter crush on Jacey (ask Madeline, who was roped into my game of 'Let's see if we can meet her' at this past year's Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival- we did, as documented here), and her podcast is so smart and funny, but this one is particularly special, to me anyway. In it, she tells my story.

I haven't listened to it yet, although I will as soon as I get home. I'm excited! And nervous! It's not a story I tell often. The whole Christian-girl-turned-mental-patient-to-finally-become-gay-and-happy is too convoluted for cocktail parties (or the open bar nights I'm more likely to attend), and there's a lot of raw emotion still associated with it. As far as most of the people in my life are concerned, I am distant kin to Athena, mortal (not goddess) sprung forth fully formed at 19 without a past and moving only forward. It's comfortable that way. But everyone has a story, and this one is mine. Maybe you can relate. And maybe it will facilitate understanding. Or maybe you'll be entertained.

So go listen!

-Eloise

P.S. Ever important yarn details: both knits pictured are small generic triangle shawls made from the following yarns:

Drops Alpaca and Bijou Basin 50/50 Yak Down/Fine Wool trimmed with Koigu
Noro Silk Garden Sock with picot bind-off

There would be more pictures of many more kerchiefs, but my camera is being repaired by Canon. Again.

An end and a beginning

2009-06-30T13:20:00.004-04:00

Ok. I packed up the scale and hid it in the recesses of a closet. I stopped counting calories and stepped away from the mirror. And I'm no longer calling myself raw.

New eating mantra: Don't eat crap.

What started out as a healthy lifestyle change turned into an obsession with food. I did my research before we started, read quite a few books. If I had them with me, I would pull out some reference quotes, but one claim that kept coming up was effortless weight loss and management. Now, I'm not overweight and I'm lucky enough to have never been overweight, but I've got a woman's body with hips and thighs and a belly and breasts when I so enviously lust after the figure of the small boned and the androgynous, tiny and curveless. I can be so self-deprecating, saying things like, "If I'm wearing the small, what the hell are people who are actually small wearing?" So all this talk about losing weight appealed to me (and my slightly self-destructive side).

But I didn't lose weight without watching calories, and when I did start to watch calories, I was grumpy and hungry, a general pain in Madeline's ass, all for about 3 pounds over a couple months. And the cravings. I was in a constant daydream about pizza, burgers, fries, falafel,... vegan or not, I wanted it all. There were good days and good raw meals, but when I gave 80/10/10 a go, that kind of broke me.

Throughout this, though, working out has been a solace. I feel strong when I'm hiking, cleansed after a run. I finally made it to the community yoga class this week, and it kind of kicked my butt and I was so sore the next day, but in a good way. I'm excited to increase my mileage each week, and I'm excited to increase my endurance. I'm going to keep working out, keep moving everyday, in the pursuit of strength. I'm going to stop comparing myself to others and find my own strength.

So I've abandoned my raw journey and going back to being vegan, albeit a vegan who eats a lot of fruit and vegetables (imagine that!). No junk, no preservatives, no artificial flavors, just real, whole foods. Don't eat crap.

The story could end there, but that's actually where things got interesting. If you've read the blog of a length of time, you may recall that I. Love. Bread. Specifically, a good french loaf, but anything soft and starchy will do. So the first thing we added back into our diets were whole-grain sprouted tortillas and then bagels.

My body freaked the fuck out.

I was crampy and constipated. That lovely complexion I had cultivated during my raw days was marred by deep and painful cystic pimples on my chin and a weird, spotty rash that spread across my chest and upper back. The rash thing happened to me once before a couple years back and lasted for almost six months, during which I reconfigured my entire wardrobe around very high necklines. I was miserable and wondered if I'd ruined my ability to eat cooked food forever. But it occurred to me that I had incidentally been gluten-free for the past few months, and maybe that was the problem. I'm unable to verify this with a doctor, as I don't currently have health insurance, and you have to ingest gluten for a couple months for a blood test to be viable, but I substituted my bread products for gluten free varieties about a week ago, and my skin has almost completely cleared. So who knew? All these years and all the money I've spent on unsuccessful acne treatments, maybe all along I've had an undiagnosed gluten-intolerance. I'm still kind of pouty at my lack of french bread and eating out as a gluten-free vegan seems next to impossible, but I've had surprisingly few cravings since adding more cooked foods to my diet. So far so good.

I'm not sure if I'm going to keep blogging. I don't want to talk about food anymore, because I'm tired of thinking about it. Maybe I'll use it as an all-purpose blog, document my knitting as I had intended a while back. I'm not sure yet.

-Eloise

Day 133

2009-06-12T14:43:00.004-04:00

Man, it's so easy to let blogless days slide by. My camera is on its way home to me, though. I find it so much easier to post with pictures to anchor my thoughts.

Raw and I have reached an understanding. We are going to co-exist in a way that makes us both happy. To be honest, with the zeal of a new convert, I pushed myself to be too raw, too hard, too fast, and I was unhappy. After giving strict 80/10/10 a go, I found myself incredibly unsatisfied and unhealthily obsessed with food. It's all I was thinking of, what I was going to eat and what I couldn't eat. Every night as I fell asleep, I was having intense cravings for non-vegan foods that I haven't eaten in years, even things I'd never in my life considered eating. I didn't want to be raw anymore. I barely even wanted to be vegan.

So here are my compromises. I'm sticking with the low fat framework, keeping the percentage of my calories that come from fat each day to 10-12%. I'm eating all fruit and veggies throughout the day. At the moment, I just can't stand to eat a salad, so I'm not pushing it. Instead, I'm getting my greens in smoothies and I've been making wraps for dinner using sprouted grain tortillas from Food for Life. That little bit of bread is making all the difference in the world. To mix it up, I've been experimenting with different dressings. My current favorite was found here, which I'm going to post with my minor mods:

Liquid Gold

1/2 c olive oil

1/2 c water

1/3 c lemon juice

2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

1/4 c Nama Shoyu

1/2 c Nutritional Yeast

2 tsp Dijon Mustard

1 tsp ground cumin

Shake in a mason jar to mix. Dressing can be kept in a jar with a lid, refrigerated for 2 weeks. Makes 2 cups.

I am loving this stuff.

Other stuff I am loving includes My Daily Plate over at Livestrong.com. Like the cron-o-meter, it can be used to track calories and nutrients, but it's so much more. It can also track exercise, determine your optimal calorie intake based on your goals and includes more packaged food. The abundance of advertising is rather annoying, but being able to log into any computer to track my day is really convenient. Right now, I have my goal set to lose 1.5lbs per week, which for me means that I can take a day off each week to forgo keeping track and let myself indulge a bit without entirely derailing. It's been really great so far and I've already started dropping some of those last few vanity pounds. I sound like an ad for the damn thing, but I'm excited and I wish I'd found it sooner!

-Eloise

Day 122

2009-06-01T13:13:00.003-04:00

Four months raw!

My (three-month old) camera had to be sent out to be repaired, so it's going to be cellphone pics or bust around here for the next couple weeks.

Yesterday was the close to the epitome of an idyllic summer day for me. I slept in until 9, cleaned out a closet and hauled out three garbage bags of junk, exercised on the treadmill and then showered all before noon. In the afternoon, I brought a blanket, a book, my knitting and quart of farmer's market strawberries outside and relaxed under a tree in the grass behind by building for a few hours. The perfect mix of getting stuff done and doing nothing.

There are two things that I struggle with that have made this last month of going raw less fulfilling for me than the previous ones: I wind up running the other way when confronted with dogma, and I want to be perfect. These are not new issues, and I know they both stem from getting kicked out of my church when I was a teenager. Being barred from the community that I had devoted myself to makes me question everything, and I cannot accept that there is only one way to live, that any human being has all the answers. However, not wanting to adhere to the rules is in direct competition with my need to prove my worth, to be the best at whatever I attempt.

I've been pushing myself to be more and more raw, more "pure." One by one, I cut out nuts, oils, spices, salt. I've been eating just fruit and veggies. I've felt pretty good physically, but mentally, it's been agonizing. I was craving cooked foods hardcore, and I would have given my right arm for savory. So two nights ago, I made a salad dressing: lemon juice, tahini, maple syrup, ginger, garlic and Nama Shoyu. 1/8 cup of that on a huge salad of spinach, cukes, peppers, basil and tomatoes and all was right in my world again.

I think that happiness is equally important as health, and if I had to choose one over the other, I'd rather be 100% happy than 100% healthy. And I don't necessarily think that cooked food = inherently unhealthy. I've had to step back from some of the raw communities I've been participating in, because sometimes the spiritualism and moralism associated with eating raw can be too much for me. Eating raw does not make me a better person. It does not foster compassion and kindness. It does not bring me closer to God. It's just a way of eating. I'm giving myself permission to step back, to enjoy food and preparing meals again. Still raw for now, keeping the fat around 10-15% of my total calories. But I'm making salad dressing.

I feel like this is a common theme in my blog, perpetual quandaries about what I should be doing versus what I want to be doing, making choices based on other people's perceptions versus making choices for myself. So many of the other raw blogs I read are so happy all the time, jiving with the universe and perfectly content with their raw lives. Part of me thinks that people just aren't talking about what a challenge it can be. I have days where I'm blissfully happy, and if I only blogged on those days, it would be a very skewed picture. Actually, I think I need to blog more when I'm happy, because I typically am. I don't think my blog accurately reflects that.

But other days are difficult. Even now, I feel a degree of guilt about taking a step back, that I haven't lived up to the standards I've set for myself, that I'm not trying hard enough. And maybe other bloggers are perfectly content. I don't know. But tomorrow is my girlfriend's birthday, and I'm going to take her out for a not-raw breakfast when she's off from work on Wednesday. And I'm going to enjoy myself without guilt. The next day, we're going to a pick-your-own farm for strawberries, and I have a feeling we'll mono-meal on them for the day. And I'll have fun. And that's what counts.

-Eloise

Day 119

2009-05-29T21:51:00.002-04:00

Cell phone pictures while hiking. MySpace-tastic!

I am happy. Everyday without fail, I've been running, hiking or walking. Everyday I sweat. Going raw has given me energy, but becoming active has given me life.

That is all.

-Eloise

Day 115: pt 2

2009-05-25T20:26:00.003-04:00

Fred blissed out on catnip

Happy picture to balance out the glum. The cats always make me smile.

Also, this morning while I was hiking, a frog and a butterfly crossed my path. I almost wish I'd brought my camera with me, cause the frog was just chilling while we studied each other for a while, but it's nice to be present in the moment without thinking of the next. I'm trying to do that more.

I just got back from a walk around my neighborhood, and I feel better. Moving always helps.

-Eloise

Day 115

2009-05-25T17:55:00.005-04:00

My first durian experience was less than wonderful. The smell didn't bother me. The texture, though reminiscent of an omelet, as Madeline put it, was tolerable. But the taste. It had potential, but there was a strong garlicky aftertaste that made me gag. I tried, but I just couldn't do it.

It's been a rough day. With Memorial Day, I had one too many days off in a row. Madeline, of course, still works. I went for a long hike this morning, but I've felt aimless and gloomy all day. The air smells like barbecue, and this is alternately revolting and mouthwatering. I'm not hungry, but neither am I satiated. I feel like I'm not making progress, and instead of persevering, this makes me want to give up.

I know that I'm pmsing. It feels like such a cop-out, but it's like I'm a different person for almost two weeks every month. I lose all my inertia and become so pessimistic about everything. I just looked back in the archives to see the last time I mentioned pms, and it was on April 22nd. So right on time, I suppose. I never did get around to ordering evening primrose oil supplements, but I suppose I should.

I read somewhere that the music your favorite music as a teenager will be your favorite style of music for the rest of your life. I strongly suspect this to be true, since no matter which of my favorite songs or artists I put into Pandora, I seem to come up with the same station. For me, Ani Difranco got me through many of those angsty years, and even now, I always go to her to first. She's so prolific that there's always something that fits my mood. It's like comfort music

These two have been on repeat today:

Present/Infant (full lyrics):

don't let the sellers of stuff power enough
to rob you of your grace
love is all over the place

there's nothing wrong with your face
love is all over the place
there's nothing wrong with your face

Evolve (full lyrics):

and i'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which i believe just signifies
i'm finally waking up

So what's your comfort music?

-Eloise

Day 114

2009-05-24T16:39:00.010-04:00

Rambutan

Since fruit has become our mainstay around here, I've been wanted to try different varieties beyond the typical apple, orange, banana, grape, peach, strawberry rut we've been stuck in. My local produce market has great prices, but not the best selection. Consequently, I've been hitting up the produce places across the city with mixed success. It's like a treasure hunt. Sometimes I find new and exciting things, other times it's a wash. I have discovered that I do not like papaya. At all.

The other day I came home with two rambutan. They're small, about the size of golf balls, and look like what I used to call "itchy balls" when I was a kid (googling "spiky balls that fall from trees" tells me that officially they're the seeds of sweet gum trees). I had never seen them before, but Madeline recognized them right away as something she'd eaten when she was a kid. She sliced them in half, and we scooped out to meat from around the seed. The taste was very subtle, but the texture was incredible. Like a crisp hardboiled egg. That sounds awful, but it was really good. I would get more if they weren't so expensive.

Today, my plan was to go on a hike and then head over the the art museum. I just recently found out that I get in free with my student ID, and I've been wanted to take advantage of that. Unfortunately when I got to the museum, the line was crazy long, easily 50 people deep before it even went through the front doors. I had a feeling it was either going to be packed or empty considering it's Memorial Day weekend, and clearly it was packed. I'm really not a fan of being in crowded places, so I sat on the steps to people watch and read a book for a while. It was a great vantage point to seeing the whole city in front of me, so I pulled out my camera and accidentally caught the coolest picture:

Right in the middle of the frame is a bird that flew by just as I was taking the shot. Just incredible.

Since I was already downtown, I decided to head over to another produce market that I'd heard about, and finally found my first durian. Madeline will be very happy, because she's tired of hearing me say, "I want to try new fruit. Like durian." I'd read about it in various places, and apparently it's been stuck in my head. So now I have one, and a little blue ribbon that tells me it's "super quality." There's a cartoon pig on the other side. I have no idea. I hung it up in the bathroom near the "personal watermelon" sign I nicked from the grocery store a while back. I have no clue how to eat the damn thing, though. I'll google that, too, I suppose. Google knows everything.

I also picked up a case of yellow mangoes while I was there. They were a little more pricey than I really wanted to spend, but they were ripe and ready to be eaten and looked so good. I had three as soon as I got home.

I do really well throughout the day, but for some reason, at night when I'm falling asleep, I've been getting really strong and vivid cravings for weird cooked foods. Last night it was mayonnaise on a loaf of french bread. I haven't eaten mayo in about four years now, since we went vegan, and I was never a huge fan. It was always just on condiment on my sandwiches. I'm not really sure what it means.

-Eloise

Day 113

2009-05-23T19:53:00.006-04:00

It was pointed out to me that I've been talking about 80/10/10 a lot lately, but never actually explained what it is. I know that not everyone around here is raw, so here's a brief rundown.

80/10/10, or 811, is a method of raw veganism in which 80% of your calories come from carbs, 10% from protein and 10% from fat. It's basically eating a low fat raw vegan diet, as opposed to high fat and nut heavy. It's based on this book by Dr Doug Graham. He advocates that most of your diet should consist of fruit, that it's our natural, biological diet, and we should eat it in simple combinations of 2-3 items at most at a time. Mono-meals, an abundance of one fruit, is best and least taxing for the digestive system.

811 is not a low calorie diet and highly encourages exercise. To get the necessary nutrients, it's important to eat around 2000 calories a day and then exercise to burn off about 500 calories. This is a lot of fruit, and I'm actually having trouble eating as much as I should. I just get distracted and forget to eat.

To give you an idea of how my days have been going, this is what I ate yesterday:

7 bananas
3 oranges
1 pear
1.5 cups cherry tomatoes
3 cups spinach
2 cups mango
1 cup papaya
1 oz cashews

It wasn't a great day for me. I only ate 1497 cals, which is way too low. My ratios were decent, though: 84/6/11. I'm using the CRON-o-meter to help track my intake, which is really helpful. Today has been better so far:

5 cups watermelon
3 pints of strawberries
4 bananas
4 dates
3 pears
1 papaya

I'm going to eat a two ears of corn, which will bring me to 2096 and 89/5/6. Corn is crazy high in calories. No wonder why they give it to animals instead of grass to fatten them up. My day was much better on the cals, but I need to work on getting my protein up a bit higher.

I've been hanging out a lot lately at 30 Bananas a Day, which is a great place to be if you have questions or need support in 811. Eating this way makes a lot more sense to me than using cups of nuts in each meal. I feel good so far.

-Eloise

Day 112

2009-05-22T19:01:00.003-04:00

The current state of the fruit table. Minus the watermelon. I cut that up for dinner.

I want to be a runner. I want to be the type of person who says, "I went on a short five mile run this morning" as if it was no big deal. I want to run a marathon. I want to look good in spandex shorts.

My dad's a runner, and it's something I've always really admired about him. I remember being in 6th grade and getting on the bus at an ungodly hour on a cold winter morning. We were all bundled in parkas with hats and mittens. As the bus rolled down my street, we passed my dad who was heading home from his morning run. In shorts. One of the cool boys on the bus exclaimed, "That's so hardcore! That guy's running in shorts!" And I was so proud to say that was my dad. He's run multiple marathons. He ran the Marine Corp marathon in 1994,the same year as Oprah, and passed her on the course. He doesn't run as much lately, but he's still heavily involved with his local runner's club, helping to organize races.

It's not that I haven't had the opportunity or tried before, but I've never gone about it the right way. I always push myself to go too far too fast in the beginning. So that's my motivation to starting Couch to 5k. It's meant to ease a beginner into running through interval training By the middle of the summer, I should be running a little over three miles regularly. That's the plan, anyway.

Today was day one, and it went well. My running was a respectable pace, and I tried to pay close attention to my form, so I don't set myself up for bad habits later on. I didn't get a stitch in my side and I didn't feel like my lungs were going to burst, all of the hallmarks of my previous running experiences. None of the neighbors pounded on the door because of how loud the treadmill is, which I was kind of afraid of. We talked to them, but you never know. Oh, also, instead of timing myself or watching the distance, I'm using this podcast, which is working out really well.

So here's to being more like my dad! I never, ever thought I would say it, but somehow I am becoming more and more like him every day. I kind of accidentally became an engineer, and now the whole running thing. I suppose there are worse things. I'll just skip the mustache, thanks.

-Eloise

Day 111

2009-05-21T12:55:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, the back of my living room looked like this:

Today, it looks like this:
As an aside, why are cats never attracted to the thing specifically purchased for them, but run right to the new, shiny thing you'd rather not have them sitting on?

So our treadmill is here! We paid extra to have it delivered and set up, which was totally worth it. First of all, we're on the fourth floor and this thing weighs more than both Mad and I combined. Also, assembling Ikea furniture typically results in us not on speaking terms for a good couple hours. I guarantee if we tried to put this thing together, this would be an entirely different post.

Now we have no excuses left for not exercising and one very big and expensive reason why we should. Also, when you think about it, in the long term, we'll be saving money by not buying exercise apparel. I'm totally running in a sports bra and sneakers. Maybe undies. We'll see. I'm heading out shortly to get fitted for some new running shoes, and tomorrow starts day one of couch to 5k. I'm still going to the park to hike every other morning. Outside is good.

I haven't been posting a lot about food lately, cause honestly, it's boring. Madeline and I are doing 80/10/10, which is really amazing so far. It really makes sense with what I've thought all along: nuts are way too high in fat and calories, and getting into shape is not going to happen on a high fat diet. Even if it is raw. So mostly we eat fruit. Today so far, I've had 1/2 lb of strawberries and 9 peaches. I'm going to grab a bag of grapes to take with me on my way out. I'll make big salads for us tonight for dinner. Nothing really blog worthy.

I was just emailed some more pics from graduation, so here's one more that I love of Madeline, myself and my best friend, J:

-Eloise

Day 108

2009-05-18T18:00:00.009-04:00

With my little brother. So to speak.

It's official! I am officially a college graduate. It's really amazing. I was looking forward to finishing, but the sense of accomplishment that I felt walking across the stage was incredible. I have worked so hard for this. High school was a very difficult time for me, and I barely graduated. For a few years, I worked unfulfilling jobs and really had no purpose. When I made up my mind to go to college, though, it was for me, and I was determined to do my best. I said no to a lot of parties, I forewent nights out to study, and there is a chair in the library that perfectly conforms to my butt from the hours I've spent sitting in it.

Forgive me, then, if I take the moment to revel in my accomplishments. On Friday, there was an award ceremony where I received an award and a complimentary membership to a professional organization in my field. On Sunday, I graduated summa cum laude with a perfect 4.0 cumulative GPA. I was also given an award for the highest scholastic achievement in my school (there are five schools that comprise my university). I was also awarded a research assistantship position and in exchange for 20 hours of research a week, I get complete tuition remission and a stipend.

At the award ceremony with my parents

And I am so excited for grad school. I think before it felt like just a continuation of school, but graduation really helped to frame my undergrad. I'm excited to start with a fresh slate and I'm excited to get into new research and I'm really motivated to work.

Before that, though, I have the whole lovely summer ahead of me. I'll still be working, but my schedule is flexible and I'll have three whole days off, two of which coincide with Madeline's days off. I'll be running, going to park, hiking, painting the apartment, cleaning out all the clutter we've accumulated, and just basically taking time to relax.

I'll be honest, this has not been the raw-est weekend... there may have been some tequila along the way. But I've been reading 80/10/10 and mono-mealing bananas today, and I feel really good about going further with my diet. I'm feeling the raw love again.

-Eloise

Day 105

2009-05-15T14:11:00.004-04:00

Nap time, apparently

It's not the best picture, but it definitely made me smile. Yesterday, I walked into the living room and found Madeline and all four of the cats asleep. The first thing I did was get the camera to take a picture. The second thing was to settle onto the end of the couch with a book.

Also. I get it. I've been wondering why I haven't been feeling the raw love lately and why I'm been so emotional. I've been frustrated and upset about things I thought I had moved way beyond, and I've been sabotaging my own efforts at getting healthier. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

As my diet improves and I eat more light and simple meals, I'm also getting rid of one of my main coping mechanisms for suppressing my emotions. I've had so much clarity and insight into myself these past few weeks, but I haven't made the connection to what I've been eating. But come on, that's what emotional eating is, filling an emotional void so we don't have to think about what's really bothering us.

I can see this now. So I'm going to try to work through what I've been going through, try to process it instead of putting it away. This summer is all about me, loving me, taking care of me. It's not selfish, I have to keep telling myself that. I need to take care of myself, and I will be better for it.

-Eloise

Day 103

2009-05-13T19:42:00.005-04:00

Garden of weeds

It's getting late in planting season, and I haven't done a thing with my container garden yet, but look what I discovered on the balcony today! It's actually starting to look like a garden again. Other than the chives, I have no idea if anything is of any worth. I didn't think that much of what I planted was perennial. In the pots last year were tomatoes, strawberries, chives and peppers, clockwise from the top left. Anyone have any clue if I might actually be growing fruit and veggies? Or are they weeds?

Herbs? These didn't even sprout last year

I took my last final today, which means I can blog, knit and otherwise procrastinate with a clear conscience. There's no lab work and no studying to be done. I don't think it's completely sunk in yet. I still feel very tense. I think it's more than school work, though. Even when I've had the time, I haven't wanted to go hiking in the past few days. I tricked myself into taking a walk both yesterday and today. Yesterday, I told myself I was going to mail a letter at the mailbox two blocks away. I did, and then I just kept walking through the neighborhood, looking at gardens and letting my mind wander. Today I took out the garbage and just started walking again. For someone who doesn't want to be outside or exercise at the moment, those hour plus walks were certainly cathartic. I felt much better when I got home. Why is it that I resist what I know will make me feel better?

It's a bad habit of mine to focus my anger and frustration on small things and realize much later that it's a bigger issue that's bothering me. I've been trying to be more aware and in tune with what I'm really feeling. If I make myself go outside and walk, sometimes the pieces sort themselves out on their own. As far as I can tell, there are two issues that are bothering me. In the immediate future, my parents are visiting twice this weekend. I love them, but our relationship is strained at best. And that relates to the bigger picture.

The short version is that as I get older, I need my parents less and less. Though I work, they've help to support me through college. I've secured funding for grad school that will largely take care of living expenses, but I may still need their help to some extent. When I start working, though, I won't. My father tries to keep an open mind, but my mother is vehemently against gay marriage and against gay couples raising children, both of which I intend to do within the next decade. This has been underscored by the fact that my cousin got engaged this past week. I am very happy for her, I think that her and her fiance make a great couple, but in contrast I know that the church wedding I dreamed of as a kid is not a reality for me. I've fought fiercely for independence, but the thought of estrangement makes me sad. Completing undergrad is a huge milestone, but it also puts me closer to this. I didn't choose to be gay. It's been almost nine years since I came out, though, and it's unlikely that my mother will change. The way I deal with it is what has to change.

This has nothing to do with being raw, but I think I'm hoping that acknowledging it and putting it out there will keep me from repressing how I feel and coping with emotional eating. Bleh.

Also, I miss Madeline. She's been working such long hours lately. She leaves the house at 6am, before I get up (although I get a kiss when she's on her way out the door), she gets home after nine at night, has enough time to eat dinner and spend time with me briefly before she crashes before 11. Ostensibly she has two days off, but she goes in then, too, if there are things that need to get done. I don't in any way resent the time she spends at work. It's essential to her career, and she needs to establish herself. It's just the way it's going to be for now. I'm just used to spending more time with her, and I feel a little lost at home in the evenings by myself.

Okay. All the negativity goes in this one post. Now we can move on.

-Eloise

Day 102

2009-05-12T15:35:00.005-04:00

Yarn: The Fibre Company's Canopy Fingering in River Dolphin

50 % Baby Alpaca, 30% Merino, 20% Bamboo

In the spirit of studying and research, I thought I'd explore a topic I raised the other day: the eco-friendliness of supposedly green fibers. This is distilled from a research paper I completed earlier in the year. Some of my (vast, vast) audience may be incredibly boring, so please bear with me until the next post, but if you find it informative, let me know!

Is bamboo really a green fiber?

Once regulated to ornamental gardens, bamboo has seen a recent surge in the American textile products. A newcomer to the market, bamboo fiber was developed in Beijing University in 2002 (Orensten). With a natural abundance of bamboo and a vast textile production industry, it was an ideal innovation for the country, and China remains the only manufacturer of bamboo textile products (Everman). Currently in the United States, bamboo can be found in everything from tee shirts to sheeting and towels. In some aspects, it is the ideal sustainable fiber. “[It] grows as much as 18 inches in a day, maturing to a harvestable size in three to five years, compared with 50 to 100 years for most hardwood species” (Stark). It is naturally resistant to most diseases and pests, requiring minimal pesticides and fertilizers. It also requires very little water, particularly in contrast to cotton (Koprowski). Once planted, bamboo will maintain a root network that will continually produce new shoots, eliminating the need for replanting (Lackman). As a plant, bamboo is incredibly environmentally friendly and sustainable.

However, the thick fibrous grass is not naturally suited to textile use and requires extensive processing. Bamboo is a regenerated cellulose fiber, meaning it must be liquefied and reconfigured into fiber form, either through mechanical processing or chemical processing. Mechanical processing incurs minimal environmental damage. It involves masticating the plant into a pulp and using natural enzymes to further break it down. The natural fibers can then be combed out and spun into yarn. This process is lengthy, expensive and not widely used. Fabrics made from yarn that is processed in this manner is often referred to as bamboo linen, as it is similar to the linen processing (Lackman).

More common is the use of chemical processing, similar to that of rayon. The bamboo is made into a pulp in a chemical bath of sodium hydroxide and carbon disulphide. The detrimental effects of both of these compounds are widely documented. Sodium hydroxide, which is also known as caustic soda or lye, is extremely corrosive and pollutes soil and groundwater, and exposure to carbon disulphide can result in neurological damage. Excessive exposure can be fatal (Stainsby). The liquefied bamboo is then extruded into fine fibers and set with an acid bath.

Bamboo also is the subject of widespread greenwashing. It is widely purported that bamboo has natural anti-microbial properties. According to the Japan Textile Association, who worked in conjunction with Bambro Tex®, the Chinese company that originated commercial bamboo textile production, it contains a unique bio-agent, dubbed ‘bamboo Kun’, which is naturally anti-bacterial. Many clothing manufactures and news outlets have perpetuated this theory. The American Fox news has reported, “…bamboo contains a natural element called “bamboo kun” which serves as a natural antibiotic, protecting the wearer from nasty germs as well as body odor, which is caused by bacteria living in our armpits” (Stark). However, in tests conducted by researchers at Colorado State University’s College of the Applied Human Sciences, bamboo fabric was not found to be antimicrobial. Subhash Appidi, who collaborated on the project, found it comparable to other cellulose based fibers: “All cellulose fibers allow more moisture to leak in and provide more food for bacteria to eat. That’s why bacteria grow more on natural fibers rather than synthetic fibers” (Marsh). While the process of producing bamboo may be green, the production is found to be lacking.

Works Cited

Everman, Victoria. "How Green Is Bamboo Fabric?" 4 Oct. 2007. 20 Apr. 2009

<http://victoria-e.com/2007/10/04/how-green-is-bamboo-fabric/>.

Koprowski, Gene J. "How Green Is Bamboo-Based Clothing?" Fox News 14 Feb. 2008. 18 Apr. 2009 <http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,330621,00.html>.

Marsh, Charmayne. "Ajoy Sarkar Investigates the Properties of Bamboo Fabrics." 11 Apr. 2008. College of the Applied Human Sciences. 18 Apr. 2009 <http://www.cahs.colostate.edu/news/item/?ID=550>.

"Natural Anti-bacteria of Bamboo Fiber." BambroTex. 18 Apr. 2009 <http://www.bambrotex.com/second/bc_nab.htm>.

Orensten, Evan. "Bam Clothing." Cool Hunting. 18 July 2006. 18 Apr. 2009 <http://www.coolhunting.com/archives/2006/07/bam_clothing.php>.

Stainsby, Sam. "Beware the Bamboo Greenwash." Junk Mail from the Universe. 15 May 2008. 20 Apr. 2009 <http://sam.stainsby.id.au/blog/?p=16>.

Stark, Judy. "Bamboo Growing Like Weeds In The Fabric Market." Bamboo Clothes. 21 Oct. 2006. St. Petersburg Times. 18 Apr. 2009 <http://www.bambooclothes.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=bamboo_fabric>.

-Eloise

Day 100: pt 2

2009-05-10T17:30:00.004-04:00

Good morning, creatures!

I was thinking that my entry this morning sounded slightly dismal for a 100 day retrospective. So to supplement that, here's a list of the things I am loving about being raw:

1. Increased energy: I am definitely feeling better, lighter, less weighed down. When I eat all fruits and veggies, I don't feel tired or sluggish after eating.

2. Clear skin: That's one of my favorite changes so far. I rarely break out, and I've been leaving the house without makeup fairly frequently. You have no idea what an accomplishment that is for me. When I was 13, my best friend at the time joked that when I got married, I'd sneak out of bed after my husband went to sleep to wash my face and then get up before him to apply makeup and get back into bed. My, how things have changed.

3. Quick meals: It's true that making raw food can take days. But a salad can be thrown together in minutes and fruit can be eaten as is, and that's what I'm increasingly craving.

4. Getting into shape: I may not yet have a bikini body, but I do definitely have a tee shirt body again. In the last few months before going vegan, I was increasingly reluctant to wear more form-fitting clothes and opted for blousier tops. I'm sure obscuring my figure wasn't helping me to look thinner, but I wanted to hide the weight I was gaining. Although I haven't lost much weight, my stomach is flatter and I'm liking the way I look in clothes again.

5. Wanting to be more active: Changing my diet has encouraged me to start working out again, and that's where the real physical changes are going to come from.

6. Empowerment: I don't really know how to put this one into words, but being more decisive with my food choices has helped me to be more decisive with my words and actions. I feel more grounded and centered, and much more deliberate.

7: Connecting to nature: Wanting to get into shape has gotten me outdoors, and it feels so good to hike in the park and be surrounded by dirt and trees instead of cement and cars. I'm enjoying the sun in small, protected doses, and haven't gotten a sunburn yet this season.

8: Solidarity with Madeline: Like going vegan, eating raw is something that Mad and I have done together. We support each other and we hold each other accountable, and I couldn't imagine doing it without her.

9: Cheap groceries: We're really lucky to have a really inexpensive produce place nearby, and as we've cut way down on the nuts, our grocery bills are now lower than when we eating cooked food. We spend $30-$40 per week for the two of us, and we're eating really well.

10: Okay, I can't think of a 10, but you ending a list at 9 is just wrong. So, uh... oh, it's easier to wash dishes, cause most things we just rinse off, and there are no pots and pans to scrub. There you go, 10.

-Eloise

Day 100

2009-05-10T10:12:00.005-04:00

One of many, many salads

100 days! The days seemed to creep by so slowly in the beginning, but holy crap! 100 days now seems like nothing.

You know, I really thought that this raw thing was going to be a piece of (figurative) cake. Eat fruits and veggies, feel great, drop those 10 lbs, easy peasy. After more than three months, though, I'm not where I want to be. After graduation, though, I am recommitting myself to starting over, to eating better and exercising more. To taking care of myself. That's always the first thing I let slide when I get stressed out, and I can only imagine that grad school is not going to get any easier. I stopped weighing myself a couple weeks back, because I wasn't making any progress and it was occupying too much of my mind.

I think that the most difficult thing has been trying to break the habit of using food as emotional comfort. I suppose this is hardly a revelation, nor is it uncommon by any means, but I have the uncanny ability to make even raw food unhealthy (did you know that dates stuffed with cacao nibs taste like an inside out Raisinet? And whereas Madeline will eat half of one and enjoy it, I will eat four and feel guilty).

There has been a really interesting shift going on in both our diets, though. We're eating far fewer nuts, much less oil and way more fruit. The few nut heavy recipes I've made over the past few weeks, even the things we used to heartily enjoy, like walnut pate, leave us feeling sluggish and heavy. I haven't posted any recipes recently because in addition to being too busy to prepare anything interesting, we're eating primarily whole fruits and vegetable, nothing revolutionary.

So here's the plan: I bought The 80/10/10 Diet, which I am going to read. I've had it for a few weeks, but I think I've been scared to find reasons to want to change my diet further. I've also been really annoyed with the junk science in some of the raw books I've read previously, so I hope that this will be different.

We also purchased a treadmill, which was an incredibly huge investment. Scarily huge. I've been reading everything I can find about treadmills, and a lot of lower end models are good for walking, but don't have the structural integrity to withstand running, which is what Mad and I both want to do. So we went with a more expensive model that will hopefully last us for a long, long time. Once it arrives, I am going to start working on Couch to 5k, which is something I've wanted to do for a while.

This has been good. And it will get better.

-Eloise

Day 98

2009-05-08T14:22:00.006-04:00

I look better in the picture on the right. But Madeline looks better in the picture below. I am going to post both, cause I'm considerate like that. ;)

I am heavily mired in finals (still), but I can see the end! One week and two days from now, I will have already walked across stage to, well, not get my diploma. They mail that later. But I'm sure it will be significant and symbolic all the same.

I have to say that at this point, raw has become rather rote. In a lot of ways, it's easier than just being vegan. When I'm heading to the library for a marathon research and study session, I dump the fruit bowl into my bag, and I know that I'll be good for the day. I used to think that just fruit and veggies were never filling, that I needed that starch to fill me up, but without bread and crackers in my diet, an apple hits the spot. I've been heavily subsisting off of apples lately.

Mad and I did venture down to Maryland Sheep and Wool last Sunday, which was fantastic, particularly if you have an affinity for the smell of wet sheep. It rained all day, as it has the entire week. We combated the slightly dismal prospect of traipsing in the mud with wet toes by tailgating in my car prior, hence the MySpace-esque self portraits. I do so wonder sometimes if perhaps I have been too academically minded when one of the highlights of my college years include pre-gaming before a yarn festival, but there you go. I had a lot of fun, and I scored some gorgeous yarn.

The best part of the day was getting to meet Jacey from Insubordiknit. I love her gorgeous yarn and her blog and her podcast, and she is just as sweet and funny in person as she is online, even after I ~~accosted her~~ introduced myself out in the open as we were all rushing from tent to tent to find cover. I had heard that she was going to be there on Sunday, so I admit, it was a goal of mine to meet her (and in the car on the way home, I kept asking Mad, "Was I a huge dork? I'm always much cooler in my head"). I have a piece that I submitted to her for an upcoming podcast, so stay tuned for forthcoming details!

-Eloise

Day 92

2009-05-02T22:42:00.004-04:00

Incidental salad face

Three months raw. I just did a quick tally in my head and have figured out that we've eaten cooked meals 6 times in the last 92 days, which I think is pretty impressive. It's getting a lot easier to eat raw now that it's getting warm. I am really looking forward to the summer. Graduation is two weeks from tomorrow, and this will be the first time I'm not taking classes during summer term in three years. I know that it's going to be difficult for me not having Madeline around, though. Her work schedule has been really intense: 12-18 hours a day five, sometime six, days a week, and it's been a huge adjustment. I am incredibly happy that she's enjoying her work and finding it fulfilling, but selfishly, I do miss her very much. I will be working this summer, but I'll still have a lot more free time. I'm going to make the best of it and really focus on myself and my well-being over the coming months.

One thing that Mad and I have both noticed-reproductive organ alert- is that eating raw is kind of screwing with our periods. For years, Mad was on a consistent 27 day cycles, but she's been rather irregular these past three months. I have always been very irregular, but the time between ovulation and actually getting my period has noticeably lengthened and the physical symptoms, primarily bloating and tenderness, have become acute. I'm really not enjoying this development. I've been reading very good things about evening primrose oil, though, and I'm going to try taking supplements next month to see if that helps.

Tomorrow, Mad has a rare day off, and we're traveling to the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival, which I am incredibly excited about. I have a huge batch of kale chips dehydrating and I made a giant fruit salad, so hopefully we'll have enough provisions to sustain us through the day. I highly doubt we'll find any raw vegan food among the fried oreos and lamb kebabs at the fairgrounds.

-Eloise

Day 89

2009-04-29T19:42:00.005-04:00

Cauliflower popcorn and kale chips

Still slogging through the end of term.

Dinner last night was a lot of fun. We had raw "junk food." I'm going to post the recipes quick and then get back to the lab report I'm working on.

Cauliflower Popcorn
My own interpretation extrapolated from various sources around the web
Ingredients
1 large head of cauliflower
1 c cashews, soaked 2 hours
Juice from 1/2 lemon
2 T nutritional yeast
water to blend
salt to taste

Break cauliflower into bite sized pieces. Put in big bowl and set aside. Blend remaining ingredients. Pour the sauce over the cauliflower (should be fairly thick) and toss to coat. Dehydrate 24 hours.

The kale chips came from We Like it Raw. I'm not even going to attempt to emulate the great tutorial they have, but I want to post the ingredients so I can readily find them next time I want to make them (and I do... as soon as I get more kale).

Kale Chips
2 bunches kale
1/4 c olive oil
1 tsp salt
juice from 1/2 lemon
1 T agave

Dehydrate 6-8 hours.

Oh, also: when I was retrieving an errant cauliflower floret that fell on the floor, I found Ethel sitting like this:

I didn't catch her mid-stretch, she was actually just chilling like that. Weirdo cat.

Bonus points if you spot the cauliflower!

-Eloise

Day 88

2009-04-28T14:45:00.004-04:00

~~Five~~ 4.5 pounds of Medjool dates. Mmm.

Madeline called me the other night and asked if I wanted to meet her at work to get dinner. I hesitated for the briefest of moments. After all, we'd used up our self-imposed quota of one cooked meal per month with lunch the week prior. But I had been in the library working on research for the past 6 hours and Mad was going to be at work for 18 hours that day. As soon as she mentioned suishi, I was packing my things and heading out the door.

Dinner was fantastic. There's this amazing Japanese restaurant near her work, in a strip mall of all places. You wouldn't expect it to be so cute until you made it inside. We sat across from each other with a platter full of veggie rolls talking about how are days went. Madeline looked exceedingly sexy in her work clothes- dress slacks and shoes, white button up rolled up to the elbows. On a normal night, we change into PJs right after walking through the door and eat on the couch with salad bowls balancing on our bellies. It was just really nice to go out together, and I think it's really good for our relationship.

So this the long way to say that I've been thinking about what it means to eat raw (again), and how it's impacting my life. A lot of good things have come out of it. I am happier, healthier, more energetic, in love with my skin. I am eating much, much better. There are downsides, too, though. I am hyper aware of everything I'm eating, which I don't think is necessarily a good thing. If I had a smoothie for breakfast, a big salad for lunch and fruit throughout the day, I don't want to feel guilty because I had some rice with dinner.

As we're nearing three months, I'm going to let go a little. Everything we make and eat at home will still be raw, but eating out will be flexible. It'll be an occasional treat, as we've never eaten out more that every couple of weeks, anyway, and of course it will always be vegan. But I'm going to stop obsessing over whether or not I've had a cooked meal within the month. I think this is more a change of my state of mind, rather than circumstances, because really, does it make a huge difference to eat a cooked meal every three weeks as opposed to four. Not really. But relaxing and being able to enjoy it instead of feeling like I'm "cheating" is important to me.

It's kind of difficult to talk about being less than perfect here in the open, but I want to create an honest narrative. Eating raw isn't always easy, and it does involve sacrifice, both gastronomical and social. I know that I will never be one of the raw gurus, but I'm okay with that. Health is the goal for me, not purity.

I think I'm also going to expand my horizons here a little and include s0me knitting content every once in a while. I used to have a knitting blog, but I only finish a project every couple of weeks or so. Makes for slow updates. Doing so opens me up to another world of controversy, though.

I knit with wool.

Wool is not considered vegan.

I consider myself vegan.

There, I've said it. I was a knitter prior to being a vegan, and it's the one thing I never gave up. There are very good reasons for opting to abstain from wool, which I will not recapitulate, but direct you here if you're interested.

But I am also a materials engineer with a focus on textiles, and I can tell you that the production of almost every fiber has significant ecological repercussions. Many so-called green fibers are terrible, bamboo and recycled-from-soda-bottle polyester being my biggest pet peeves. Also, science cannot replicate nature, only mimic it if it's lucky, and there is nothing like wool for it's insulative, wicking and shape retention properties. It's good stuff.

So bottom line: I'm really not raw and I'm really not a vegan. Glad we cleared that up.

-Eloise

Day 84

2009-04-24T18:52:00.004-04:00

Sprouting cats

Please take note of Fred's whiskers on the left side of the image. He was being nosy.

So things have been feeling a little stagnant around here lately. I'm not sprouting and the cats have taken to using the station as a sunny chaise. Un-cooking happens in random fits of inspiration. Today was the first day in about two weeks that I made it to the park for a hike. All I can repeat is my tired mantra: school. It's school that's keeping me busy. In these last two weeks, I have a combined fifty plus pages to write. Albeit, a good portion of that is a lab report which is filled with data charts and tables, but still. It's time consuming.

I really had no business even going to the park today with all that needs to get done, but I had to pick up Mr. Bingley's cremains from the vet before it got too late, and once I leave campus, all bets are pretty much off. It's a gorgeous day, and it's hard to pass that up in comparison to the climate controlled lab or the library. I will be there all this weekend, though.

There is an end in sight, and once that happens, hopefully things will get a little more interesting around here. And I'll be able to spend all the time I want outside. Afterall, I have this new nifty gadget that's going to make me the coolest geek on the trails:

It's so dorky, and it's awesome.

-Eloise

Day 82

2009-04-22T17:30:00.007-04:00

I have been so incredibly hungry lately. Really, really famished. For the past two days, I have been this bottomless pit, eating everything in the house (which is luckily all raw). I made an indulgent, nut heavy apple crumble tonight. Madeline and I have already devoured half of it, which satiated me for a while, but I'm kind of hungry again. And I want something salty. That combined with the InstaThreePounds!^TM and the cup overfloweth that's been going on lately can only mean one thing: my body is preparing to gestate. Not that that's a possibility, but it's a good a reason as any to eat dessert.

The reason I bring this up is because I've noticed something. My skin is looking incredible. It's smooth and clear, and I'm not broken out at all, which is amazing. I know it sounds like I'm shamelessly boasting, but acne has been something I've dealt with for more than half my life now. I've pretty much got it under control with a regimented washing routine that's incredibly unnatural, but during ovulation, all bets are usually off. My skin very easily marks, too, so evidence of break outs tend to hang around long after the damage is done.

But this month, nothing. See?
Unexpected happy consequence of going raw.

-Eloise

p.s. Oh, boy. I have a bellyache. Waaaay to much apple crumple.

Day 80

2009-04-21T13:16:00.003-04:00

Banana bread

I don't like to take medication frivolously, but this sinus thing had gotten to a point where it was almost intolerable. A friend suggested to me that I might be suffering from allergies, since hers had been acting up, but I'd never had them in the past, so I dismissed that.

After work on Saturday, I went to Whole Foods to get something holistic that would hopefully help. It seemed that everything I picked up that was clearly meant for sinus pain, though, was also blatantly not vegan with gelatin or lactose. I must have stood there for a while looking very confused because before I knew it, I had a sales girl on either side of me, one of whom was trying to convince me that it was only a little lactose and the other pushing herbs at me that I hadn't researched and had no clue if they would help. And everything was at least $20. I was overwhelmed and I left without buying anything.

On the way home, though, the pain was particularly bad, and I turned into CVS. I found the box of Tylenol labeled "Sinus pain and congestion" and I bought it without hesitating. It's not vegan. It's not natural. But it said that it would work for my symptoms, and it has. Plus it was like $5.

Before I went to bed that night, I went to take another dose and found two boxes in the medicine cabinet where I had previously placed the one. I thought maybe Madeline had picked up some, too, maybe because she was tired of hearing me gripe, so I called to her in the living room:

"Mad! Did you get more sinus meds?"

"No, I saw that you had bought some, and I remembered that you had some from last year when you went through the same thing."

Oh. So maybe it is allergies. At least I can be better prepared next time I need medication and hopefully stock up on something natural in advance.

I made banana bread yesterday that we ate last night. It was my favorite kind of recipe: quick and simple where everything is just thrown together and the hardest part is having to wait until it's dehydrated enough to eat it. I used this recipe ( 1 cup flax meal, 1 cup ground sesame, 5 bananas, 2 T agave, 2 tsp vanilla, cinnamon to taste, saved in the event that the link ceased to work) from the Raw Freedom Community. I added a handful of chopped walnuts, because banana nut bread is so much better. I spread it about 1/4 inch thick on parchment paper and dehydrated for 12 hours, flipping after about 6 and removing the paper.

It was very good when it came out, warm and soft in the middle. It was slightly flaxy, but tasted so similar to the baked breads I remember that I felt a bit bereft without a slather of Earth Balance margarine. Oh well. It was good, but I think I'm over bananas for the time being.

-Eloise

Day 78

2009-04-19T09:51:00.004-04:00

It might not look like much (and the brown plate probably didn't help with presentation), but last night's dinner was. Really. Damn. Good. It's probably one of the most satisfying meals I've made, and my only complaint is that I should have made more.

The bread is another batch of onion bread, originally from here. I made a double batch, replaced the oil with an avocado, halved the Nama Shoyu and made up the difference with water. Dehydrated for 24 hours, flipped at 12. It was perfect, not too salty this time.

The burger is a marinated portobello cap. I de-stemmed and de-gilled them and marinated them for about 12 hours in the juice of 1/2 lemon, 1/4 c olive olive oil, 1/2 t garlic powder and dashes of oregano, basil and sea salt (per cap). The only thing I would do differently would be to set the mushrooms to marinate the night before. They could take it, and it would have saved me time in the morning.

We have onion bread left over and some button mushrooms in the fridge. I think I might try marinating them and making mini-sandwiches for dinner tonight.

-Eloise

Day 77

2009-04-18T20:42:00.004-04:00

At work today, we had a sidewalk sale, so I got to spend some time sitting in the sun (after being sufficiently sunblocked, of course). I was only out for about two hours in the late afternoon, and even then I tried to stay in the shade, because I burn quicker than toast. There was only a little shade, though, so as a result, one of my shoulders is a constellation of freckles and the other has only a few stragglers from last year. Heh.

I don't have a picture today. Not even a recycled one. My excuse is that my face hurts (sinuses), but really I just don't feel like taking some or hunting for one. I did feel like posting, though, so I decided that that shouldn't stop me.

The food of the week seems to be bananas. They're always a staple, but these past couple days, I'm really digging them. I just finished another banana shake, which I'm currently obsessed with. I told Mad I had to make one for her tonight, but she probably won't be home until almost 10. At that point, it's dinner and bed. I am very glad that she's happy with her job, but I am missing spending time together. I'll be happy when my schedule frees up for the summer so we can spend her mid-week days off together.

It's interesting to see the way our diets are evolving as we get further into this raw thing. I used to make fairly complex salads that I'd bring for lunch along with plenty of snacks: granola, some fruit, carrot sticks, etc, to get me through the day. Now, though, partially out of convenience, but mostly because I like it, I double my morning smoothie and split it into two quart sized mason jars. I drink one on the way to school and one later on when I get hungry. Other than that, I eat fruit until I get home at night and have dinner. I never would have thought that fruit would keep me going, but 3 bananas, 4 apples, 2 pears and sometimes a bowl of pineapple and mango and I'm set. It varies by what's in stock and in season. My purse has basically turned into a portable fruit bowl. I'm really looking forward to hitting up some pick-your-own farms this summer.

-Eloise

Day 76

2009-04-17T18:35:00.003-04:00

It's been a very long week that was capped off with an audition and interview for the role student speaker at commencement. I'm very excited to have been nominated- there are 10 of us auditioning- but it was nerve wracking! I recited the first few minutes of Margaret Chase Smith's famous "Declaration of Conscience," which, by the way, is an amazing speech (you know, if you're in the mood for that sort of thing). I think it went fairly well, but we'll see. I also think it's a funny coincidence that my speech audition and the Day of Silence fell on the same day.

I've finally gotten my sun, but the kind-of-feeling-sick from earlier in the week has blossomed into full blown holy-crap-my-sinuses-are-going-to-explode. So I enjoyed it while I was on campus today, but opted to come home and curl up on the couch with some knitting instead of heading out to the park.

I needed some comfort food when I got home, so I made a banana shake. It was the perfect thing.

Urban Escape
2 pitted dates
1.5 c warm water
2 frozen bananas
splash of vanilla
dash of cinnamon

Soak the dates in the water for 20 minutes ( or as long as you can stand it). Add the dates and water to the blender along with the bananas, vanilla and cinnamon. Blend until creamy.

I was still kind of hungry when I finished it, though, so I made myself another, with the addition of 1.5 T cocoa powder for a chocolate version. Definitely what I needed this afternoon.

-Eloise

Day 75

2009-04-16T11:50:00.012-04:00

I came across the above container placed inconspicuously on our bathroom shelf when I was getting ready for bed last night, and it made me burst into laughter. It's tiny, smaller than a quarter. I thought Madeline has been particularly happy because she was finding her new job very fulfilling, but apparently her secret is that she's found inner peace and has bottled it to boot. (Okay, it's actually a sample of hair product from when she'd gotten her hair cut earlier that day, but I prefer my alternative.)

I have recipes to share today. I was very, very happy with the way my cookies came out that I'm going to post the first prototype recipe and another update when I get around to making the date-sweetened alternative. The texture was fantastic, dense and cake-like.

Drama-free cookies*

Ingredients:

pulp from 6 carrots and 3 apples**

3 T flax meal

3 T agave

2 T maple syrup

Cinnamon to taste

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. A dough should form that easily holds together (I did this by hand with a spatula, but a food processor would probably be just as effective, albeit more work to clean). Form into balls and slightly flatten. Dehydrate 12 hours. Make 7 small cookies.

*You know. Cause nothing's nuts. :)

**See yesterday's post for how I juiced with a blender. Also, I used granny smith apples with peel, hence the green flecks.

I also made a pudding/custard thing last night. I had soaked some cashews to make a chowder, but as it turned out, I really didn't want chowder for dinner. I wanted a spinach salad with parmesan, instead. I didn't want to let the soaked nuts to sit in the fridge for too long, so dessert it was. (Quick note on the parmesan... we love that stuff. I make huge batches that we keep in the fridge and in lieu of dressings, we frequently opt for giant mixing bowls of dry spinach with a tablespoon or two of parmesan. So good).

Banana custard with mango topping

Ingredients:

1/2 c cashews soaked for 2 hours

2 bananas

1 T agave

3 T water

cinnamon to taste (can you tell, I like cinnamon?)

1 large mango

Combine cashews, bananas, agave, water and cinnamon in a food processor or blender until creamy. Portion into two small bowls. Puree mango until creamy and layer on top of the banana custard. Sprinkle with cinnamon as desired. Chill and serve. Or don't chill. It's still good.

-Elosie

Day 74

2009-04-15T11:14:00.005-04:00

Fred, Ethel, Naomi and Ruthie

Thank you so much for all the kind words yesterday. It really meant a lot to know that you guys are out there caring what goes on in my day. :)

Alright, so here's the negatives: it's still raining (the sunny picture is recycled... I've been lacking picture taking motivation, but I don't like to post without one) and I'm starting to feel like I'm getting sick. I also don't have the job that I thought I would this summer, so I very quickly need to figure out what I'm going to do about that.

On the bright side, I feel much more centered today and way less stressed. I sent in the acceptance form that accompanied my graduate school acceptance letter, so in a few short months, I will be engaging in post-collegiate studies (which I'm sure will stress me out, but at this distance, it feels good).

I've tried two raw staples in the past few days: kelp noodles and fresh juice. To start with, I really detested the kelp noodles. Mad and I split a package with pesto, and it was a very sad waste of pesto. I think in my mind I was hoping for a real pasta replacement, but the texture is odd. I don't know how to describe it, except to say that for soft noodles, it's crisp. Also, I get this strongly off-putting burnt plastic aftertaste. I'm sure it's just a sea-weedy taste, and Madeline didn't notice it at all, but I couldn't eat more than a few bites. This is a good thing, though, because now it means that I won't be addicted to ordering packages of these pricey noodles. Shredded zucchini is much better.

As for the juice, I was at my local health food store and decided to treat myself to a carrot, celery and beet juice. I'm really addicted to my smoothies, but I know that there are circles that are really adamant about the benefits of juicing. First of all, it was delicious and shockingly sweet. I had no idea that carrot juice could be that sweet. I think I drank it too quickly, though, or maybe should have opted for the small instead of the large, because it really gave me a jolt. I felt like I had drank something caffeinated, but not in a good way. Caffeine makes my head buzz and my stomach hurt, and this was very similar. I think this might have been because of the rush of sugar without the fiber to slow absorption.

Needless to say, I won't be swapping out my smoothies for juices any time soon, but it got me thinking. Sweetening my smoothies with carrots seemed like a very appealing idea. I'd tried to make a blended carrot, apple, ginger juice once before, but there was way too much fiber to blend and I couldn't drink it. In the order that I had placed with The Raw Food World recently, I'd purchased a nut milk bag on a whim. I'm not sure why because it was pricey considering the fact that I don't see myself making many nut milks, but all of the sudden, it was perfect.

When I got home last night, I blended about 6 carrots and 3 apples together in my blender with a water to get things going. I then strained it through the nut milk bag to make juice and then used that as the base for a giant smoothie with a ton of greens. It was really, really good, although admittedly sweeter than the smoothies I'd gotten accustomed to drinking recently.

I also had plans for the pulp. A few weeks ago, Madeline and I tried a slice of raw cheesecake from Awesome Foods, and Mad particularly liked the crust, which had apples. She asked if I could make apple cookies, and I'd been mulling it over for some time. Most of the recipes I found were very heavy on nuts, which, as always, I'm reticent to use, even for a dessert. One recipe called for apple pulp, though, in addition to nuts, so having just produced some, I thought I'd play around with it.

Prototype 1 was made last night with the apple/carrot pulp, agave, maple syrup, flax meal and cinnamon. I dehydrated for 12 hours and my taste test this morning was definitely positive. I'll have more conclusive evidence after dinner tonight. I'm going to try another version soon using dates to sweeten, though. I didn't think of it until afterwards, but I think that's definitely the direction I want to take these. When I perfect it, I'll post the recipe.

-Eloise

Day 73

2009-04-14T11:14:00.005-04:00

This weekend sucked. Specifically, Sunday and Monday which, in my work week, constitutes a weekend.

On Sunday, I woke up to Fred, one of our cats, meowing loudly. He's normally very vocal, but this was unusual even for him. It was around 7:30, earlier than I had intended to get up, but not by much. Madeline had already left for work at 6.

When I walked into the living room, I immediately knew something was wrong. Mr. Bingley, our angora, was laying on his side in the middle of the room. Rabbits sleep against walls and in corners. Closer inspection confirmed my fears: Mr Bingley had died. It was kind of ironic in a bitter way since it was Easter morning, day of resurrection and all things bunny. It wasn't entirely a surprise, as his brother, Mr. Darcy, had died of a congenital heart condition when he was only a few months old, but Bing had been doing so well. He was becoming incredibly social and more interactive every day. I wrapped him up in one of his blankets, and he's in the freezer now until Madeline can take him to the vet to be cremated tomorrow. Makes me sad every time I'm in the kitchen. It's not a great picture of him, kind of blurry, but I don't have many that show his cute face.

Unfortunately, even death does not exempt me from familial obligations, so I packed up to go to my grandparents and then to my parent's overnight. Holidays used to be raucous events with tons of extended family at my grandparent's house, but their health has been declining and they've moved into a small assisted living community. My grandmother has been progressively slipping into dementia. She is unfailingly polite, but recognizes only my grandfather. My grandfather is there mentally, but his physical health is increasingly worrisome and he's so proud and stubborn that he refuses most assistance that the two of them desperately need. They're not going to be able to live on their own much longer, and the past few holidays have been quiet, awkward and somber affairs.

And then there's the issue of staying at my parent's house. I love my parents, but being in their presence for too long makes me feel 14 again. And I really, really hated being 14. I know that there's a lot of emotional baggage there.

Just to top things off, I spent my Monday morning in the DMV replacing my license. When I get stressed out, I lose important things, primarily my cell phone, keys and now my license, and it had been missing for a little over a week. I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in the apartment, but I didn't want to go too long without it. It took two hours, mostly waiting in hard plastic chairs in a very crowded waiting area with many unhappy and restless children. I really wouldn't recommend it to start off your week.

And the food. I packed enough healthy raw food to see me through Easter and my overnight stay. I didn't have to bother telling anyone that I was eating raw, since providing food for myself has been my responsibility ever since going vegan. I did pretty well for a while, but once I got to my parent's house Sunday night, I ate crap: a ton of italian bread, apple pie and chocolate. It was all vegan (although the cheese doodles were looking tempting at the end of the night), but it wasn't a treat, and I wasn't enjoying myself. I was emotionally eating, and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. Such a crappy feeling, and my body has been kind of thrown off ever since.

I know that a large part of my success and happiness in eating raw comes from the fact that Mad and I have created a healthy and raw environment in our kitchen. If I lived with someone who ate a typical American diet, it would take tremendous willpower for me to stick to my raw food when I got upset or overwhelmed. I am even more grateful that this is something Mad and I do together, and I have a lot of respect for anyone who can eat raw without that kind of support system.

It's just going to be a rough couple of weeks. It's the final push to the end of the semester, to graduation, and I'm stuck under a mountain of work with no idea how I'll complete it time. I know I will, since I always do, but it's going to be a lot of late nights in the library, that's for sure. Yesterday and today, I've been doubling up on my greens, mostly in smoothie form, and eating a lot of fresh fruit. No nuts or oils for the time being. It's kind of a mini-cleanse, and I'm feeling better for it. I just wish the sun would come out. This dreary rain is not helping.

-Eloise

Day 69

2009-04-10T11:10:00.004-04:00

Scenes from a hike

I love this. For two days in a row, I've had comments that really make me think about the reasons and ramifications of being raw. I'm pretty consistent about responding directly to comments, but once again, I just have too much to say on the subject.

In response to yesterday's post, Jeremy of Stellar Path has asked:

Soup looks delicious. :) But my reason for this post - one thing that I've wondered - what made you decide to go raw and not just high raw? I certainly get the desire to eat a healthier diet; I'm just curious as to how you and Mad made the decision to completely eliminate cooked food (other than your one splurge meal a month) and not just cut back, so you could occasionally have cooked bread, etc.

I've been thinking about this all morning. Most diet books recommend a gradual transition into new habits and making small changes at a time to achieve success. I disagree. I believe in the power of grand gestures, jumping in feet first or not at all. It's like swimming. When the water is chilly, it's torturous to ease in one inch at a time. If you take the plunge, you'll be shocked for the first few minutes, but you'll acclimate a lot faster.

One of the moments that sticks out very clearly in my mind is from the first week or so of transitioning. I was at my weekend job, which is located in the basement of its building that is always freezing cold during the winter. I was eating a cold salad with a crappy vinaigrette (too much oil, far too little vinegar) and I was shivering and miserable. It sucked. It was definitely a low point in this journey, but I stuck with it, and it's gotten much, much better.

Going raw for us is not just about the food we eat. Certainly that's a large part of it, but it's a lifestyle change, a whole new approach to food. To get in the right frame of mind, everything had to go. Like Victoria Boutenko who smashed her family's microwave, I wanted a clean slate (Of course, I didn't actually smash our microwave. I'm hoping to sell it on Craigslist... but metaphorically, I was totally there).

I like having defined parameters that govern our eating habits. Walking into the grocery store, I immediately know what's going into my cart and what's off-limits. There's no quibbling about the bread, it just doesn't go into the cart. I frequently mention that we were junk food vegans, but it didn't start off that way. We used to eat pretty well, especially when Madeline and I were long distance. Like I was saying yesterday, I ate all organic and a decent amount of fruits and vegetables. I had my share of vegan ice cream, but overall I'd say I was pretty healthy.

Whenever Mad and I would see each other every few months, though, it was a time to indulge. We ate pastries for breakfast, made road trips to try amazing vegan restaurants that we'd read about online. Being together was a cause for celebration. I often returned home with my jeans a little tight, but that would remedy itself after a couple weeks on my normal schedule. The problem was that when we moved in together, our bad habits slowly followed. Two years later, we were 20 lbs heavier apiece and looking to make a change. We were already vegan and had cut out meat, dairy and eggs, so raw just seemed to make sense.

I didn't want to go high raw because I didn't want to give cooked foods the ability to edge their way back to the forefront. I mention bread often, because it's really what I miss the most, really great artisan bread. If we had it in the house, I would eat all of it. I just don't want to give myself that opportunity.

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. I have an insatiable sweet tooth. Madeline, inexplicably to me, is not afflicted. Instead of focusing my energy on making dense, nut based desserts, I have a couple squares of extra dark chocolate a couple times a week, and this keeps me extremely satisfied. I've tried carob and I've tried raw chocolate. It's just not the same. I have a routine and a limit and it works out well. We also drink the occasional glass of wine. For me, it's a nice way to unwind at the end of a stressful day. I enjoy it, and I don't feel like I'm compromising my efforts by imbibing. I'm pretty sure that raw purists would heartily disagree, but although we eat 95-99% raw at home, I wouldn't consider myself a purist.

A few weeks ago, I was reading testimonials of people who have gone raw, and one said (and I paraphrase):

I used to have a great social life, but then I went raw and none of my friends wanted to hang out with me because I didn't want to go to restaurants or bars anymore, so I don't have friends but I've been raw for five years and I look and feel terrific!

Okay, they was more to it than that, but that's the message that came across to me. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm a homebody. I work three jobs and go to school full time and at the end of the day, I really look forward to going home and getting into PJs. But when I can be coaxed out of my domestic sphere, I really want to enjoy the time I spend with my friends. In some cases, it's easy enough to order a salad or a fruit platter. In others, I wind up getting a cooked (but always vegan) meal. And as an occasional thing, I think it's good. Having friends and being social is another really important factor when it comes to health and well-being. I never compromise being vegan, because that's a moral and ethical stand for me, but raw is a lifestyle choice. It makes me happy to eat raw and it makes me happy to eat out with my friends. If it's been a while, Mad and I may chose to go out for a cooked meal, as well. I don't see that those things have to be mutually exclusive.

I hope that answers your question, Jeremy! In short, we wanted a big change, so it seemed logical for us to eat as close to 100% raw at home as possible. Your mileage may vary.

-Eloise

Day 68

2009-04-09T11:47:00.009-04:00

Noodle soup with onion bread

I've been thinking about the economics of eating raw. Autismom mentioned in regard to my last post how similar my crackers look to the ones she buys for $6 a bag. I've purchased similar crackers before as well, and those bags probably contain as many crackers as 1 dehydrator tray yielded for me. My batch made 6 trays and took 2 cups of flax seeds. I purchased about 4.4 lbs from my local health food store for $10 and I still have over half a gallon of seeds left (judging from the overflow of my mason jar storage). There are other ingredients in there; pumpkin seeds, parsley, cilantro, garlic powder, salt... but as with the flax seeds, the cost is nominal.

One of the things that keeps coming up in the forums I peruse is how expensive it is to eat raw. As far as I can tell, that's pretty subjective. Coming from a junk food vegan diet, I know we're spending more. No more $1 boxes of pasta for two nights of dinner. We don't stock up as much on sales because most of what we purchase now is perishable and our freezer space is limited. We used to get by on $100/month for both of us. But we weren't happy and we felt like crap. That's why we became raw in the first place.

On the other end of the spectrum, when I was living alone about three years ago, it was all Whole Foods all the time. I spent around $70 a week ($280 a month) just for myself. I did cook some (I baked a lot), but I was still buying a ton of packaged food. Healthy and organic, but packaged nonetheless.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much we're spending now. I started to keep track when I first started the blog, but it's time consuming and boring. We go to the produce market every couple of days, so it would be a constant update on the prices of produce in our corner of the world. And I don't want to keep track, either. I don't want to feel guilty about how much we spend on food. We get by from week to week since we're not really in a position to save at the moment, and if we can reasonably afford it, I'm not going to worry about it. We buy in bulk where we can ( I have chia seeds, hemp seeds and hemp protien coming my way from The Raw Food World... I am unreasonably excited). I know that we're definitely spending more than we used to, but we're also definitely spending less than I did on just myself. For the most part, we're happier and healthier, and you can't really put a price on that.

We don't buy many organic products. A lot of our produce comes from a local produce market that carries a large percentage of local fruits and vegetables. Their prices are the best around, as well. I feel good about that. I would like to eat organic, but that probably won't happen until I have a salary. Conventional produce hasn't killed me yet, and spinach trumps potato chips any day, fertilizers aside. My sprouting seeds are organic, as are some of my bulk goods. The amount will probably increase as the farmer's markets open and I grow some veggies on our balcony, but it's not something I'm going to stress about.

Bottom line, I don't think that eating raw needs to be any more expensive than any other healthy diet. We minimize the expensive ingredients (mainly nuts and nut butters) and focus on the produce that we get cheap and in abundance. A lot of the raw recipes I look through I reject out of hand. 1 cup of macadamia nuts, 2 cups pine nuts... that's expensive! I mainly stick to the cheaper nuts (walnuts, cashews, sunflower seeds) and I use them sparingly. We only eat a nut/seed based recipe at most once a day, usually dinner. It's better for our hips and it's better for our wallets. We also buy very few packaged food items. Come to think of it, Egg-less salad is the only thing we seem to have on a regular basis. We used to buy granola, but, if I say so myself, mine is better. Everything else, we eat as is or I make from scratch, and that's a huge savings right there.

The picture up top is last night's dinner. It was a good pairing. The soup (from here) was pretty bland and the onion bread (from here) was almost too flavorful. My modifications (there are always modifications) for the soup were to cut the turmeric way down. I doubled the recipe, so for 8 cups of water, I added 1/2 tsp turmeric. Madeline thought it could have used more, but I find it to have a bitter aftertaste, and I poured the first batch of broth with the full amount down the drain. This was about as much as I could take. I used a 1/2 tsp garlic powder, but it probably could have stood to be increased even more. It's not a recipe that would make my greatest hits list, but as Madeline said, it would be good to eat when you're sick. The dehydrated zucchini-as-noodles were really good, so I may wind up using them in a different broth eventually.

For the onion bread, after looking at some of the comments, I only used 1 small onion, which was plenty. I also only dehydrated for about 24 hours, instead of the full 36, because it seemed perfect to eat with the soup. It was soft, but not "undercooked". It was very salty, so I might cut some of the Nama Shoyu with water next time.

It was really weird to use my stove! I heated the soup up on the stove, per the instructions, and made sure that it didn't go above 115 using my instant read thermometer. It was nice to have a warm meal though. The bread was warm, too, fresh out of the dehydrator. It was a pretty good dinner.

-Eloise

Day 67

2009-04-08T11:30:00.009-04:00

Yesterday's flax crackers

I am suppressing my school anxiety into housework, or so Madeline tells me. I happen to disagree (she says while while vacuuming the living room with the hand attachment... it's more effective!). I do admit that I was prolific in the kitchen last night. We ate the crackers, as featured above, and they were delicious. I may have spread them a little thin, so they were more crisp-like, but that was perfectly fine by me. The best part is that the recipe made a huge batch of 6 trays, so we have plenty left over for the next couple days.

I placed a big order with Sprout House last week which I received just the other day. I immediately started soaking a blend of barley, oat groats and buckwheat. It's a really easy combination to work with. They only need to soak for an hour and sprout for 24-36 hours with rinses every 4-8 hours and they're done (well, when you put it that way... honestly it's easy). I used them when they had little tails, because the wheat that I had sprouted last week had gotten increasingly bitter the longer it sprouted. This was just right. They require a little extra rinsing because of all the starchiness they release, but there's no hulling at the end. I have determined that I really like sprouting, I don't mind the rinsing, but I abhor the hulling. There has to be a better way than submersing the sprouts in water and flicking out the hulls with a spoon. If you know if one, please let me know!

So once they were ready, I of course had to make granola. I perused dozens of recipes, most too nut heavy for my taste, and finally put together this batch based around this recipe on Gone Raw. Here were my modifications:

Raw Cinnamon Raisin Granola

Dry Ingredients

3 cups sprouts (I used equal parts barley, oat groats and buckwheat)

1 cup brazil nuts, chopped

1 cup dried coconut

1/2 cup sunflower seeds

1/2 cup flax seeds

1/2 cup raisins

Wet Ingredients

8 dates

3 T raisins

2T agave nectar

1/2 T cinnamon

1/2 tsp vanilla

Set dates and raisins to soak in a small bowl with lukewarm water just covering them. Measure dry ingredients into a large bowl. Measure wet ingredients, including the soak water, into a food processor or blender and mix until fully combined. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix by hand. Spread on dehydrator trays with parchment paper (or those non-stick sheets) and dehydrate at 115 degrees for 12-14 hours until desired texture. I like my granola a little chewy, so I took it out just before 12 hours.

I had a really hard time not eating this before it dehydrated. In fact, Mad and I ate some for dessert last night (I finished hers... I have a relentless sweet tooth). It reminded me so much of the instant packets of Quaker cinnamon raisin oatmeal that I used to eat as a kid. So good. I was afraid that I had added too much cinnamon because the wet ingredients were overpowerfully cinnamony, but when it's all mixed together, it's pretty mellow. I would even venture to add some more next time. I did not soak my seeds or nuts this time around, but I will for next. I'm also going to try mixing in more sprouts (quinoa, I'm thinking of you) and chia seeds and hemp nuts.

There's other kitchen goodness going on around here, but even I admit that I'm procrastinating now. More to come!

-Eloise

Day 66

2009-04-07T10:52:00.008-04:00

Wake up, lazy butt!

I have come to find that preparation is the key to eating raw (and I'm sure in some sense, this is applicable to healthy eating in general). If I come home at night and intend to make dinner, my options are limited. If we're lucky, there's leftovers. If not, well, it's salad with a vinaigrette. Not bad, but not really satisfying.

If I've planned ahead since the morning, though, I have nuts and seeds soaking and my options are much more varied. If I thought about it the day before, I can have something dehydrating and waiting for us. That's the best. It's like having a slow cooker (but raw!).

My friends tease me about my Mary Poppins-like purse that I carry, and admit that it gets ridiculous (three calculators... I may be an engineer, but even I don't know why there are three calculators in my bag), but there's always a snack stuck in there. There's nothing more disheartening than being stuck in traffic, hungry, and surrounded by inedible food. Being a vegan did prepare me for the phenomenon of scarcity in abundance, but at least we could still keep our eyes peeled for the Taco Bell on the horizon. A grocery store is our best option now, but it's never a sure bet. So keeping a snack on hand is really the only way to go.

Madeline and I have both found that throughout the day, we almost exclusively eat fruits and vegetables. I also drink lot of green smoothies, although she's not really a fan. Sometimes I'll include granola in my lunch tin, but today, for instance, I brought an extra quart of green smoothie in an insulated bag (which, I might add, fits inside my giant bag). It's going to be a long day at school for me. When we get home, we like to sit down to something hearty and flavorful.

Yesterday, I made flax crackers from The Renegade Health Show (my only variation was to throw in a little garlic powder... everything is better with garlic) and they finished dehydrating this morning. Since our dehydrator was a refurbished model, we didn't get a timer, which would have been helpful, but I remedied the situation with a $10 light timer. It worked like a charm. I flipped the crackers last night before I went to bed, set the timer for six more hours and in the morning when I woke up, the dehydrator was off and the crackers were done. I'm pleased.

By the way, if you're making the cracker recipe and you're like me, you haven't watched the video (something about cooking shows, I just don't have the patience). I was kind of confused what to do with the flax seeds after soaking them. It tells you to include the tomato soak water, but not a word about the flax water. Was I supposed to drain them? Regardless, I trudged ahead blindly, assuming that I'd eventually figure it out, and lo and behold. After soak for a half an hour, there's no soak water left. Instead you have plumper, slimier flax seeds. So that solved that.

I'm pretty sure they're going to be great. I haven't gotten a full taste yet, but I nicked a sample this morning when checking to see if they were crisp (from the corner that was missing, I strongly suspect that Madeline did as well). We'll eat them smeared with egg-less salad (scroll down) from Awesome Foods (we don't buy many packaged foods these days, but it's just phenomenal) and a huge salad on the side.

-Eloise

Day 65

2009-04-06T19:51:00.004-04:00

It's been a whirlwind around here lately with weeks until the end of the semester and Madeline getting used to her new job. She's home tonight, though, so just a quick update so we can spend time together. I made a rocking dinner two nights ago that Mad requested again tonight and I don't want to forget what I did. It's an adaptation from this Pesto Stuffed Mushroom recipe, a healthier, cheaper version. ;)

Pesto Stuffed Mushrooms
60 white button mushrooms
2 cups basil leaves
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
2 cloves garlic
salt to taste
1/4 cup soaked walnuts

Wash and de-stem the mushrooms (just use your fingers, they snap right out) and set aside. Put everything except mushrooms and walnuts in the food processor and process until well combined. Add the walnuts and pulse until chopped. Using a 1/4 tsp, spoon a heaping spoonful into each cap. Dehydrate 4-6 hours until soft.

They taste like breaded mushrooms. So good.

-Eloise

Day 63

2009-04-04T13:33:00.013-04:00

Snacking on the go

I. Need. Kale.

You may have noticed that that's been a trend in my blog over the past week. What I've noticed is that my food cravings are very cyclical. In Victoria Boutenko's books, she stresses the importance of listening to your body for its nutritional needs. It's difficult at times for me to filter out my psychological cravings (No, Eloise, you will not die without bread), but there are strong patterns to my eating habits. The first week, all I wanted were avocados. I was bereft when they wouldn't ripen fast enough. Then it was olives, which I had never liked before. I always picked them out of my food. Two weeks ago were green smoothies. I'm still drinking them on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day, but not as ravenously as I had before.

Last week was mangoes. I needed mangoes. We had picked up five or six that we had to wait to ripen, but once I ate them, I had to have more. Seriously, we made an emergency trip out to Whole Foods to pick up a case of 18 (coincidentally, we ran into the twenty-somethings who live below us heading out for a beer run... the comparison of priorities cracks me up). I picked up a second case a couple days later, and between the two of us, we ate about 40 mangoes that week with me having eaten about 30 of them.

This week, it's kale. I have discovered kale salads, and I am obsessed. Savory with garlic and nutritional yeast, like I made last Sunday or sweet, like Kristen's Candy Kale salad, which I made the other day (and several times for lunch), I love it all. I even managed to make kale chips without eating it all first, which were delicious and really satisfy a chip craving. They're quick, too. Unlike a lot of dehydrated recipes that take 24 hours, give or take, this was about 5 hours to completion. We had some that night and they were even better the next day.

I've realized that it's silly to worry so much about the excessive amounts of kale I'm currently consuming, because this obsession will pass. Like mangoes, of which there are three or four in the fruit bowl, I'll continue to eat it, but it will not be my sole reason for existence. Something else will come along to fill that role, and I'm curious to see what's coming next.

My goal this week is to expand my dehydrator repertoire. I used it to to warm up a soup a made last night (Marvelous Mushroom Soup, doubled with half the almond butter and extra mushrooms to compensate. I thought it was alright, but Madeline really loved it), which worked well, but there's so much I could be doing with it. Top priority is to find a good cracker recipe.

-Eloise

Day 61

2009-04-02T10:46:00.003-04:00

See the new pink picture hanging out on the sidebar a little ways down the page? It's an award that bloggers can pass along to other bloggers that they enjoy, and I received mine from Autismom. The rules of accepting the award are to share seven things you love and pass it along to seven blogs you love to read. So here we go:

1. The family I've created for myself, meaning Madeline, our cats and our rabbit. I know that this is a bit of a cop out, but growing up gay, you sometimes come to realize that love can be conditional, and it's not something you can take for granted. Mad and I have gone through a lot in the 4 1/2 years we've been together, and I think it's important to stop and appreciate the life we've made for ourselves. It's a good one.

2. Knitting. My knitting hasn't made an appearance on the blog as of late, but I learned to knit when I was 16, and it's been an obsession ever since. Focusing on the repetitive motions is like meditation for me. It's funny, though, but in the past month I haven't been knitting as much, because I can't sit still for too long. Unless I'm eating or utterly exhausted, I feel the need to be up and doing something. Usually it's preparing food or cleaning the kitchen, which is good. i need to knit more, though.

3. Days off. For a while last semester, I was going to school or working seven days a week, which is a recipe for burning out. I've learned how important it is to take time for myself and to stop over committing.

4. The color yellow. It makes me happy.

5. Sunshine. The weather completely affects my mood and my level of motivation, and I have a lot of difficulty getting anything done on cloudy, rainy days, even if I'm indoors. I think people are solar powered.

6. Being domestic. It gives me a lot of pleasure to make a delicious, healthy meal, to vacuum the living room free of fur, to scrub the bathroom until it sparkles, to grocery shop and fill our fridges and cupboards. If it weren't for the fact that I'm in a non-traditional relationship, I'd be such a retro throw back, it would cease to be ironic. It's difficult to find the time sometimes and housecleaning is often the first priority to slip (because I don't really like scrubbing the toilet, I just like when it's been done), but I like a clean house and taking care of my family.

7. Blogging. I knew when I started that it would be helpful to me to record our progress, but it's really thrilling to know that my words are being read, that it's a journey that other people can share with me. Mad and I originally started this as a joint project, but as it turns out, she wasn't really interested and I became mildly obsessed. Whatever. She doesn't know what she's missing. :) I've also found that blogging helps me to focus on the highlights of my day. There are a lot of days that I feel overloaded by school and work, that I come home pissed off at the driver that cut me off, that I'm tired of doing the never ending load of dishes in the sink, a million different little things, but then I sit down to tell you all about the amazing dinner I made or the hike I took or the positive changes I'm noticing and it put things into perspective. Gratitude is a very unexpected side effect of blogging.

In no particular order, here are seven blogs that I've been reading frequently:

It's an eclectic list, some who share my passions and some whose lives are completely different than mine, not all of whom read my blog but I think it's a really interesting slice of the blogosphere (and of course, Autismom. Go check her out, though it would have been redundant to put her on the list).

-Eloise

Day 60

2009-04-01T20:50:00.015-04:00

The following (one sided) dialogue is what occurred when I walked into the kitchen, camera in hand...

"Mad! I'm going to take your picture! Okay, smile!"

"Wait the flash was on, let me try again...Don't make a face at me, smile!"

"That's better."

Heh. She's been so busy at work lately that this is pretty much the most I've seen her in the past couple days.

Two months raw! It's definitely getting easier, and I'm definitely getting better at putting together meals. Preparing food has become kind of a mediation for me, which is good, because I do spend a ton of time in the kitchen. Right before going raw, I was talking to a co-worker at my weekend job about how great raw was going to be, and a customer who overheard me chimed in. He said that he had been raw for a while, but he hated having to think about what he was going to eat days in advance. I politely nodded and we went on to talk about the best places to get raw food in the city, but inside I was thinking, How long could it possibly take to make a salad?

How naive I was. We do eat plenty of salads, but I do my fair share of soaking, sprouting, slicing, processing, dehydrating... I spend a good couple hours in the kitchen everyday, and it's important to me to keep things interesting. It would be too difficult for me to stay committed to being raw if I wasn't willing to put in that time.

That being said, though, tonight's dinner was pretty quick. I made a variation of Kristen's Candy Kale Salad with kale (massaged with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt), chopped dates, raisins (both soaked to plump), brazil nuts and strawberry slices. It was so incredibly good. The strawberry was a particularly inspired addition, if I say so myself, although that's makes it a poorly combined meal for those who follow those rules. I'm lax about them, but I can't help but note when my foods are "mis-combined".

I've lost weight this month, too, about 5 lbs. I can't say that's entirely because of going raw, though, but more of a lifestyle change. I've been watching calories, limiting nuts and oils and getting out to hike a couple times a week. I'm just a lot more conscious about the way I take care of myself, and I'm a lot more balanced for it.

-Eloise

Day 59: Are we rabbits?

2009-03-31T13:17:00.007-04:00

Excuse me, but I believe that I am the rabbit here.

In the time before raw (BW, as it were), Madeline and I were junk food vegans. Discovering that Sweet Chili Doritos were vegan was cause for celebration. We would proffer up Oreos to any skeptical omnivore who wanted to know what we could possibly eat. We were not vegetable eaters. We rarely even kept fruit in the house. Tofu was made to be fried. And whenever we found ourselves in a social situation when the only vegan fare was salad, we'd sigh and roll our eyes at the 'rabbit food.'

All that, of course, has changed, and it happened fast for us. We were tired, gaining weight, unhappy with our bodies, but with little motivation or energy to make changes. We discussed going on a diet, but the prospect seemed bleak. Then Madeline came across a sample meal plan from David Wolfe's Sunfood Success Diet, and we were hooked. That night, we decided to go raw. We gave ourselves 1 month to prepare and research, and then we just jumped right in.

It was a rocky transition at first, going from pretty much 0% to 99% overnight. But I have no regrets and there's no turning back. In two short months, I am happier, healthier and more energetic. Which is not to say that being raw is a cure all. I still get frustrated by daily tribulations and overwhelmed by my coursework. I'm still tired at the end of a 18 hour day on 4 hours of sleep. I still rummage through a full fridge on occasion, exacerbated that there's nothing to eat. Being raw has not made me a shiny, happy person, and it's not a spiritual pursuit. But I feel better about myself and better nutrition gives me a better grounding to handle what comes my way. I do think I'm better for it.

So powered vegetables and fruit with a metric ton of greens and a few nuts and seeds leads me to believe that rabbit food is not all that bad. And maybe, perhaps, we are rabbits. Mr. Bingley, the English Angora who kindly shares his living space with us, is not so sure, but he certainly enjoys partaking in mealtime these days.

-Eloise

P.S. Mr. Bingley was neutered yesterday (which is very important for all animal companions). He's 6 months old, and it's amazing how fast he's grown. On the right, he was 6 weeks old, a little powder puff. And now I've successfully hijacked my own post with pictures of cute bunnies.

Day 57

2009-03-29T18:21:00.008-04:00

Ethel keeps asking, What are you making for me?

Our dehydrator arrived, and it's been humming away from within an hour of taking it out of the box. We had to rearrange the kitchen a bit because the cord is so short. Not a big deal, really; the sprouting station moved onto the desk and the dehydrator took its place. Since the sprouts are close to the window, though, I'm actually going to try covering them with a towel to keep them out of the light. We'll see how this goes, because the cats seem to think it's a surprise for them and keep sticking their heads under to peek. Like the rubber drain stopper and my dishwashing gloves, it's very possible that I might wake up one morning to find the towel in the hall or at the foot of our bed.

In addition to my new batch of soaking sprout seeds (2 jars of clover and red wheat this time) is my jar of chia gel in the forefront. More on that later.

So the dehydrator! It's a refurbished Excalibur 3900, and as far as I can tell, its defect is an unglued temperature control knob. It works fine, though, and my instant-read thermometer tells me that all is as it should be. Last night, I put it a double batch of corn chips that are finishing up that will be dinner with salsa and coconut chutney tonight. I also sliced up a bunch of banana to make a tray of banana chips. We'll see how many actually make it to the chip stage, though, as every time Madeline and I have a reason to walk by, we slip another one or two slice out to eat. They're leathery and chewy and taste like banana candy. SO GOOD.

This morning, it was my intention to make kale chips with my assistant chef, Naomi*. We had two big bunches of purple and white kale in the fridge that I deveined, cut into 2" pieces, gave them a good wash and thoroughly massaged them with some olive oil, lemon juice, sea salt, garlic powder, nutritional yeast and cayenne. Then I tried a bite. It was so incredibly delicious and un-kaley that I ran down the hall to make Madeline try a bite.

See, earlier in the week, Mad had been seduced by the purple leaves and pulled the bag of kale out of the fridge to try some. This resulted in a face and the proclamation that it was unfit to eat. Fair enough. I love kale in my smoothies, so more for me. When she tried the seasoned kale I made today, though, she asked if it was lunch. I hadn't actually considered lunch and our fridge is pretty bare at the moment, so as it turned out, I made a kale salad instead of kale chips.

I am now even more in love with kale than I was before, and our shopping list for tomorrow says KALE x 100!!!. I need to look into the effect of oxalates on a healthy person more because if I let myself, I could eat it during every meal. It seems silly to limit myself from eating such a nutrition packed green because of the possibility that it might be too much of a good thing.

Another thing that I picked up this week were chia seeds. There are a lot of "superfoods" out there, and I have to say that I pass over most of them. They're often over-hyped and definitely over-priced. But after wading through a ton of reviews, I decided to give them a try. They're very high in fiber, low in calories, a complete protein and can be digested whole (unlike flax). One of the things that I've noticed eating raw is that I'm frequently hungry very shortly after eating, so I'm hoping that adding these to my diet will help me to feel fuller for longer. So far, I've mixed them into my banana ice cream, sprinkled some into granola and blended them into my morning smoothies. In the first picture, I was making chia gel, a ratio of 1/3 c chia to 2 c water. It makes a thick slime, although it's pretty much tasteless and it's supposed to be easier to add it to liquidy or creamy recipes this way. I bought them at Whole Foods, since I could return them if they were gross (they're not), but you can also find them for a good price at The Raw Food World. I am itching to place an order from that website!

-Eloise

*I know that some people may find it repulsive that I let my cats hang out near food preparation, but it's the sunniest window in the evening and I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. Plus, those without cats may not realize just how clean they are. They shed very little on a good diet (ours eat Halo) and although their breath always smells fishy, they have reserve shampoo spit which is used exclusively for grooming. It makes them smell like they've been drycleaned. Tru fax.

Day 55: Sprouts

2009-03-27T22:26:00.006-04:00

Houston, we have sprouts.

I harvested my first batch of sprouts today! It's really amazing how quickly they go from seed to fully grown and ready to be eaten. As seen on the left are my clover sprouts in the half-gallon jar, pre-hulling, and my lentil sprouts in the quart jar, dried in the salad spinner and ready for storage (no hulling reqired). They didn't make it that far though. We ate them with dinner. And I have my eye on the clover for a smoothie in the morning.

The growing process was relatively painless. I rinsed three times a day, in the morning, when I got home from school and before bed. I never did get around to covering them with a towel per Becki's suggestion, but they were really only in indirect sunlight for part of the day in that corner of my kitchen. I placed the clover in the window to develop some chlorophyll on the last day, and I think it greened nicely.

I'm ready to place an order for more seeds online from Sprout People, but I'm having trouble making up my mind. I made a list of everything I wanted, and the total was exorbitant. It's their blends that get me. The combinations all sound so good. Madeline's going to have to help me narrow it down.

I took the pictures in my currently (but temporarily) defunct balcony container garden, and look what I discovered! I had no idea that chives were annuals, but apparently they can go 2-3 years without being resown. After that, they start to lose their flavor. I took a small taste test of these, and they're definitely chivy. I can't wait for my local nursery to open in a couple weeks so I can get the rest of my garden going. This year I'm thinking plenty of tomato plants and copious amounts of parsley and basil. Focusing on just a few varieties of plants is probably a good idea so that we'll yield a significant quantity in our limited space. We'll see how that goes once I actually get there and am confronted by the numerous choices.

I did get to go on my hike, and it was even better than I thought it would be. I was actually really tired and dragging my heels when I got out of work, but I'm glad that I pushed myself to get out there. I have never once regretted a hike once I'm actually doing it, no matter how reluctant I was in the first place.

I trekked one of my regular trails and then decided to explore a new one. I was enjoying it, but it seems like it's also one of the more popular trails with the mountain bikers. I normally encounter a few, but after a while, I was jumping off the trail so frequently it was starting to get ridiculous. I felt like the original Super Mario hopping over those incessant rolling balls... know which level I'm talking about? I think I'll avoid that trail for a while, at least on a Friday at that time of day.

-Eloise

Day 55

2009-03-27T11:38:00.003-04:00

Scenes from a hike

The combination of spring fever and senioritis (5 weeks to graduation!) is hitting me hard. On a gorgeous day like today, there's nothing more that I want to do than to get out there and take a hike. My day ends early and I will get the opportunity to in a few hours, but in the meantime, being stuck in a climate controlled office is torturous.

This is a fairly recent development, my love of the outdoors. Being paler than pale* and prone to horrific sunburns, as well as being less than athletically inclined, I was rarely allowed to even play outside as a kid without heavy armor. I have gone through cycles of being a gym bunny; there was a summer in high school that I logged 3 hours a day at the gym. However that (and my newly attained waist) quickly deteriorated during the school year. There's only so many hours a girl can log on the treadmill before feeling like she's turned into a hamster.

I never feel that way when I'm hiking. We live in a city (albeit in a less urban neighborhood) and it's rare to be able to look around and not be within 50 feet of at least a dozen cars But we are extremely lucky to live near an extensive park system with great trails, and you can really feel like you've gotten away from a couple hours, even though the traffic is just on the other side of the hill. I never feel more powerful or capable than when the sun is shining, I'm trekking up a steep incline and I can feel the core of muscles in my legs working to propel me forward. Going raw has completely shifted my perspective way beyond what I consume. I'm much more sensitive and responsive to my body and my environment.

Now, there is an ironic side to this extolment of the great outdoors (and disavowal of gym culture). Madeline and I have made it our goal to purchase a treadmill in the next few months, most likely from a second-hand sporting goods store. A large part of this has to do with her new job, which requires her to be there 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. We've been going for walks around the neighborhood when she gets home at night, but it's already dark and to get any real exercise in, she needs something more. I must say, I'm looking forward to it, too (as are our downstairs neighbors, they just don't know it yet). But I know that it won't supplant my love of getting out there and taking a hike.

-Eloise

*Fun party trick: find someone complaining that they're "so white!" and bet them that you're whiter... I've never lost and only tied once.

Day 54: 'Peanut' Sauce

2009-03-26T09:11:00.006-04:00

I'm having a very lovely morning. I checked my email this morning, which is unusual, as I don't typically have time, and found out that my first class was canceled. So instead of running out the door, I'm curled up on the couch in the living room with a giant green smoothie. I'll still have to head out in about an hour (and it's my late day), but it's a nice reprieve.

Two nights ago, I made the "peanut" sauce from The Raw Food Detox Diet. It was absolutely delicious. We tossed it with shredded carrots and then rolled spoonfuls up in spinach, mini burrito style.

In the back of my mind, though, was a slight nagging guilt. The sauce was heavy on expensive ingredients, namely almond butter and maple syrup. In fact, I'd halved the recipe from the start, as the full batch calls for a full cup on almond butter. That would have been our whole jar, and on our limited incomes, we need to save where we can. As it was, the half cup made a huge dent.

We were also concerned about the high caloric content of the almond butter, since both Madeline and I are trying to get into shape. Now I know that a hundred different raw sources will refute me in a hundred different ways. Every raw book I've read tells me that extra weight will magically melt off on a raw diet, no matter how many nuts and avocados you eat. I can see how that may be true if you're coming from the typical standard American diet and cutting out fast food, meat and dairy all at once and have a significant amount of weight to lose. But Mad and I were already vegans (albeit not the healthiest), and we're only looking to drop about 10 pounds apiece. When we went raw, not much happened for the first month. It was only once I started paying attention to the good old fashioned calories-in-vs-calories-out and curbing the nuts that I begun to notice changes to my body.

So long story short, I wanted to make a healthier recipe. Last night I experimented with using zucchini as the base, and if I say so myself, it was pretty damn good. It's a bit thinner, but all of the flavor is there. Instead of heavy nuts, it's chock full of water-rich zucchini. I'm pretty proud of this recipe.

Guilt-free 'Peanut' Sauce
1.5 c peeled and chopped zucchini
3 T raw almond butter
1.5 T fresh minced ginger
Juice from 1 lemon
2 T agave
1 T maple syrup
3 T Nama Shoyu
3 cloves garlic
1 dried red chili pepper, including seeds

Throw all of the ingredients into a food processor fitted with an S blade. Save the chili pepper for last and crumble it on top. Process until a smooth, creamy consistency.

We ate it as a veggie dip last night with cucumbers, bell peppers and celery, but it would work equally as well tossed with noodles or as a salad dressing. As for how it adds up, by my calculations (using the CRON-O-Meter), a half cup serving of the original recipe is about 494 calories and 40 grams of fat. My version is 128 calories and 7.5 grams of fat. I'm bringing leftovers today for lunch!

-Eloise

Day 52

2009-03-24T23:03:00.010-04:00

Exhibit A to the left shows a small corner of my (small) kitchen two days ago. Since going raw, we'd removed the toaster and the waffle maker from the living room, but the microwave has just sat there, taking up room. It did make a pretty good fruit platform, but I think it was a bit over-qualified for the job.

I've been reading a lot about sprouting. I had fun gardening on our balcony last summer (even after the stink bugs ate most of my vegetables), and I'm always down for some instant gratification, so it seemed like the best of both worlds. I purchased The Sprouting Book by Ann Wigmore, which is a great resource if you're considering getting started.

Getting set up was a bit of a process that's taken me the better part of a month. I decided that the jar method would be the most economical, and Ace Hardware had the best prices on mason jars. They deliver free to the store as well, which seems beneficial on all levels when you're talking about mailing a metric ton of glass. I got a case of pints, a case of quarts and a case of half gallons. Although I'm using the half gallons to sprout (per Ann Wigmore's specifications) I've come up with a dozen different ways to use the other sizes. I may have to order more in the near future.

I also purchased these mesh lids from Sprout People. Cheese cloth would work as well, but this seemed like it would make the job a bit easier. A dish drying rack from Target later, and my hardware was complete.

As for the sprouting seeds themselves, I will eventually purchase them online in bulk. In the meantime, however, my local-ish health food store has them in stock. I picked up clover, lentils and red wheat to start. Although it was more expensive this way, I wanted to make sure that I would stick with it before committing to a pound plus of seeds.

So far so good. As you can see, the microwave is gone and lovely sprouts are growing in its place. I have room for six sprouting jars eventually, but I figured that two was enough to get started in the event of major catastrophe. I still need to figure out what to do with our appliances. There had been a small fire (very small, really) in our toaster (though we kept using it....), so throwing it out was really the only thing that could be done at that point, but the microwave, waffle iron and crock pot are still perfectly serviceable. I think I may post them to Craigslist and see if anyone's willing to purchase them.

Sprouting is very satisfying. It's been a day and an half, and I've begun to see little sprouty tails. As for the fruit, it's found a new home. I dragged a desk into the kitchen that we hadn't been using, and surprisingly it fit. It will be great for when the dehydrator gets here (on Thursday!!), because I wasn't really sure where that was going to go.

The cats approve:

Ruth, Naomi, Fred and Ethel

-Eloise

Day 51

2009-03-23T22:28:00.003-04:00

I could have sworn I vacuumed that corner yesterday.

As awesome as the first day of break had been, the last day was the opposite. I'm just really not looking forward to losing the free time I've had, and it really doesn't help that it's that time of month when my bras don't fit and that sappy Taylor Swift song makes me teary. I've been peckish all day, which sounds cute and dainty, until you realize that it means I've spent half the day with my butt hanging out of the fridge looking for yet another snack.

It was one of those days when everything was a little off. I had planned to be out on the trails at ten, but lacked the motivation until almost noon. I attempted to make sunflower milk, but have come to realize that no one makes sunflower milk because it tastes like a plant. I got out my tools to mount a ceiling hook for a three-tiered hanging fruit basket in the kitchen (we have plaster ceilings so the hook needed to be anchored. It took my drill, hammer and pliers) only to put the apples in and have one of the chains snap. It was just the apples! I had mangoes, plums and avocados that were meant to go in there, too, Though even I wasn't ambitious to hope that the four bunches of ripening bananas would also fit... I'm going to have to take it back to the store and hope that I can get a refund.

To be fair, though, it was really a productive day overall. I have realized when I said the other day that I don't have any more energy than before, it's because I'm still tired at the end of the day. What I hadn't taken into account was everything that I've been doing during the day. Pre-raw, a normal day off would have found me typically sleeping in, knitting and catching up on shows on the DVR. I would have showered and gotten something ready for dinner eventually, but really, that would be it. This is what I did today (and keep in mind, it was a grumpy, pms-y day):

Woke up at 8:30
Set walnuts and sun dried tomatoes to soak for dinner. Set clover and lentils to soak for sprouting.
Attempted (and failed) to make sunflower seed milk
Went for a 90 minute hike
Stopped by the produce market to top up the fridge
Hung the fruit basket and watched it fall (it's extraordinarily difficult to hammer and screw things into the ceiling)
Removed the microwave from the kitchen and set up a sprouting station in its place
Did two loads of laundry (requires 4 trips up and down four flights of stairs)
Took out the garbage (more stairs)
Prepared zucchini pasta with puttanesca sauce, not-meat balls and sunflower parmesan for dinner (comfort food)
Made lunch for tomorrow
Made zucchini hummus for the rest of the week
Washed three sinkfuls of dishes (what I wouldn't give for a dishwasher...)

I sat down for ten minutes while eating lunch, but that was about it until Madeline got home and we had dinner. No wonder I'm tired! I do admit that as reluctant as I am some days, I always feel better after I get out and go hiking, or even just take a walk. It's important.

More kitchen news: our raw kitchen is soon to be complete. Mad decided we couldn't wait any longer, so we ordered a dehydrator. I do admit that more than anything, I miss my crunchy, carby foods. We got a really good deal by purchasing a refurbished model from Excalibur. It's not the model with the timer, but I'm going to purchase one of those automatic Christmas tree light timer, so hopefully that will work. I have a list of recipes to try, starting with this corn chip recipe. It's challenging, though, to find recipes that are more vegetable, rather than nut based. As good as they are too eat, I try not to eat too much heavy food.

When we first went raw, setting up the kitchen was the most daunting part. We estimated that it would cost us around $800 to purchase the appliances we'd need ($400 for blender, $250 for dehydrator, $150 for food processor). By shopping around, reading reviews and figuring out where we could cut back, though, our grand total is around $400. Not pocket change, certainly, but by budgeting, we were able to make it work. I'm so excited for the dehydrator to get here!!

-Eloise

Day 50

2009-03-22T23:10:00.005-04:00

Elegant coffee table dining...

Fifty days seems like a rather auspicious milestone. The picture is actually one mentioned in an earlier post: zucchini pasta with puttanesca sauce and sunflower parmesan. I think it may be my favorite thing that I've made so far. Although Indian coleslaw and walnut pate are certainly up there... It's an enjoyable dilemma.

I was only half kidding in my postscript yesterday. The carpets and the couches got a thorough vacuuming, though the walls and cats were spared (but only for lack of time). I do dearly love my parents, but we rarely see eye to eye. I think we're both bewildered at times how their staunchly Catholic, meat-and-potatoes Republicanism produced queer liberal me.

Tomorrow is my last day of spring break, which I think is making me a little sad. Despite working extra hours, I got so much done. I had plenty of time to un-cook and took numerous hikes. I'll be glad when the semester's over (and I graduate!). It was a difficult decision for me not to apply for a resume-building internship before grad school, but the flexible schedule that I'll have will be amazing. I think it's hard sometimes to rein in my over-achieving nature to focus on what's really important to me, but I'm really looking forward to taking that opportunity.

-Eloise

Day 49

2009-03-21T23:12:00.004-04:00

Ethel is not a morning cat.

I, however, am unexpectedly becoming a morning girl. I'm not sure if it's the result of becoming raw or simply learning to listen to my body, but if I've had a full night's sleep, I'm finding it easier to get up the morning. On my days off, I used to sleep well into the afternoon and feel tired and sluggish the rest of the day. If I set the alarm for 8 hours after going to bed, though, I feel much more alive and awake, not to mention the fact that I have extra hours in my day. Now if only 8am classes after 6 hours of sleep were any easier...

Yesterday was a great day. Madeline and I had tickets (since November!) to see a Wanda Sykes show, and we've been looking forward to a night out for so long. Mad had to be at work during the day, but I was productive at home. I took a hike, stopped by the produce market, cleaned the kitchen and prepared a raw meal for us to take. I'm really going to miss all this extra time when my spring break ends on Tuesday.

We had been planning to eat at a raw restaurant the was located near the theater, but the website was deceptive. Despite looking fully functional, they closed in 2007! We were really looking forward to eating out, but we are lucky enough to have a vegan restaurant with a raw night in walking distance that we'll try one of these days. And most importantly, at least we figured it out before getting there. Instead, I packed us a car picnic. I was really happy with the meal. I'm going to post the recipes so I don't lose them in cyberspace.

Indian Coleslaw from Raw and Living Foods
3 cups green cabbage, finely chopped
3 cups tomatoes, chopped
1 cup fresh grated coconut
1/2 cup peanuts, ground (make sure they're raw, not roasted)
1 large date, soaked, pitted and mashed
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. peanut oil (Flora Oils) or use olive oil
1/2 tsp. ground brown mustard seed
1/2 tsp. ground cumin seed
1/4 tsp. turmeric
pinch asafoetida (see Glossary)
1 tbsp. minced Jalapeño, or to taste (optional)
Nama Shoyu and/or Celtic sea salt, to taste

1) Mix first 4 ingredients together in a large bowl and set aside.
2) In a small bowl, mash the soaked date, add in the balance of the ingredients, and blend to a smooth dressing.
3) Pour the dressing into the cabbage and tomato mixture and mix well.

Serves 4. This salad keeps well for 2-3 days in the refrigerator.

My adaptations: I doubled the dressing, since the cabbage seemed too dry and used a red chili pepper in place of the jalapeño. I left out the asafoetida because I didn't realize we had it in the house. Madeline said that it tasted south Indian and recommended adding some tamarind, so we'll try that next time.

Dessert was experimental on my part, and I was very, very happy with the way it turned out.

Mango Pie
Crust and topping:
1 cup pecans
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Dash of salt
4 dates
1/4 cup raisins

Filling:
3 peels, pitted and cubed champagne mangoes

Put the pecans, coconut, cinnamon and salt in the food processor with an S blade and process until a fine meal. Add dates and raisins and process until mixture begins to clump together. Divide into 4 equal portions. Press one portion each into the bottom of two dessert cups. Puree the mangoes in the food processor until smooth. Pour into dessert cups and top with remaining nut mixture. Refrigerate to set (or put it in the freezer to speed up the process).

We have a ton of mangoes in the house at the moment. They were on sale, and there was nothing more that I wanted in the world at the time, so we bought two cases: 36 mangoes! We've been eating mango salads and mango puddings, but mostly just straight up mangoes. I had five for lunch the other day. Fresh fruit used to be such a luxury for us. It was too expensive and too often went bad before we ate it. I love that we're eating as much as we want, whenever we want. Produce no longer gets the chance to go bad anymore.

-Eloise

P.S. Blogger is driving me nuts! Despite my best efforts, the computer is choosing font sizes all willy nilly- though mostly extra small. Will work on resolving that soon.... though not tomorrow morning. My parents are coming for a visit, which is my personal equivalent of hearing The British are coming! I will be vacuuming the carpets, couches, walls and possibly the cats in preparation.

Day 47: dulse is not bacon

2009-03-19T13:40:00.012-04:00

What do you mean, we're out of kale?

The picture really has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but it's a funny one of Madeline and me from last week. We were in my school's library and if I recall, I was making some now forgotten emphatic point, and she was playing with Photobooth. We so rarely agree on photos of ourselves (one of us usually thinks it's the best picture ever! and the other wishes to immediately delete it from the memory card), so it had to be shared.

Last week, on a whim, I purchased dulse seaweed. I'm not sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time and it's really healthy for you. I wasn't sure what to make with it, though, and it sat in the cabinet, making everything smell like the ocean. Last night, Mad read the package which said that it could be used in place of bacon (!!!) and suggested making BLD (get it? like BLTs with dulse...heh) lettuce wraps for lunch today. So I obliged, even though I was not convinced and a small taste test did not assuage my concerns.

Verdict? Dulse tastes nothing like bacon. It was more like salty and slightly fishy lettuce and tomato. I couldn't finish, but luckily I had made myself a salad, as well, with the golden elixir dressing from The Raw Food Detox Diet. I like the dressing a lot, although I make it in half-batches because the first time I made it, it went rancid in the fridge in less than a week.

Lesson learned: dulse is not bacon and now I have to find another recipe for the rest of the package. Luckily, not all of my un-cooking is such an epic fail.

One of the things that Mad has really been struggling with since going raw is a lack of Indian food. Her parents are from India, and while I was raised on microwavable dinners, she had freshly made Indian food every night. It's fairly easy to eat Indian as a vegan, and after a few lessons from her mom, I was able to make some pretty decent daals. It hasn't been easy for her to maintain connections to her culture. Being gay and in a relationship with a white girl are huge obstacle. Not eating brown food is another huge blow.

So I went looking from some raw Indian meals. There's really not much out there, but I was fortunate to come across this blog of two Indian brothers, one of whom is raw and the other is high raw. Last night for dinner, I made their malai kofta recipe, which was quick, delicious, and most importantly, authentic tasting. My only deviation from the recipe was to substitute the coconut oil with 1/2 tb of olive oil and 1/2 tb raw shredded coconut, since I had none in the house. We're overdue for a trip to the local Indian grocery store. I'm inspired to rawify other curry recipes in the near future.

In sad news this week, we are out of kale. With all the green smoothies I've been drinking, I was consuming 6-10 cups of spinach and kale each day. Then Mad read something regarding spinach and the effect on the thyroid, which led me to research the small amounts of toxins in different greens. Of concern for both were oxalates. I'm not overly concerned because I am healthy and I don't have any conditions that would be aggravated by their ingestion, but it did underscore the importance of rotating greens for their different nutritional highlights. So I skipped my beloved kale and the big bag of spinach we usually buy in favor of romaine, turnip greens, collard greens and chard this week. Unfortunately, all except the romaine still contain oxalates, so next week I'll be looking for more variety. Should have done my research first, I suppose. It's not bad, but I had my smoothie recipe perfected and now I'm all thrown off. Chard, in particular, was difficult for me to make palatable. It's really, really salty. A lot of citrus was called for.

Other quick highlights: we have Egg (less) salad from Awesome Foods in the fridge for dinner tonight. I think we're really lucky to have this great raw food company local to us. We're able to buy the whole range of their products at our rockin health food store, but they deliver on Wednesday and if I wait until Saturday when I work in the city to stop in, their stock is already depleted. So we made a special trip to the store last night just to snag some egg (less) salad, which we've heard rave reviews about. After the dulse debacle, I'm super excited for dinner tonight!

-Eloise

Day 41

2009-03-13T19:45:00.006-04:00

Observe... the hippie in her natural environment

You know those weeks that you have so much to get done, you just know that you're either going to die or completely fall apart in the middle, but somehow you make it through to the other side and you feel like you can do anything? Yeah, it was one of those weeks for me. I had midterms, and in addition to exams, I had a 30 page lab report, a 5 page paper and a 20 minute solo PowerPoint presentation (with an automatic failure for the use of notes). Somehow I got through it with everything on time and complete and my sanity relatively intact (as I have every midterm and finals week for the past four years. Just don't try telling me that in the midst of everything... ask Madeline how she knows).

So I finished early today, and it's spring break for me with no course work to attend to. I'll be working more hours, but at least work does not give me homework, and we're going to try to take some time to take at least a day trip. Madeline was at work studying for a certification exam today, which has been delayed since she was sick so long, so I went to the produce market to pick up some veggies and suited up to go on a hike. What you can't see in the picture is my exciting outfit. It was crisp and cool, rather than cold, today, so I broke out my shorts and wore them with wool knee socks and my hiking boots. It was the perfect amount of clothes for the weather, other than the fact that I have some lovely thigh chafing going on now (do thighs develop calluses? Cause I swear this only happens the first couple times I wear shorts in the beginning of the season). Also, I ran into my neighbor on the stairs, and she told me that I looked like a Swiss hiker. I'm going to take that as a compliment. My hike was really great. There were very few people on the trails and I completed the route that usually takes me an hour and a half in an hour flat.

When I got home, I made myself another green smoothie. I have been ravenous for green smoothies lately. I've been drinking about 40 ounces per day- a giant one for breakfast and another in the evening. I'm pretty consistent with my formula: blenderful of greens, 1 banana, 1/2 cup fruit and 2 cups water. I've learned a few things, though, that make life easier. If you add the juice of a lemon, it takes away the bitter taste of greens. This is a magic trick when it comes to kale. I don't even taste it! Obviously it's not necessary for greens like spinach, though. Also, frozen fruit is a huge money saver and you can stock up your freezer so you'll always have enough fruit without worrying if it's going to go bad. My freezer currently contains blueberries, cherries, strawberries and pineapple chunks.

While drinking my smoothie, I got busy in the kitchen. I made raw parmesan, based on this recipe. Here's my variations:

Raw Parmesan

3/4 cup raw sunflower seeds
3 tablespoons raw sesame seeds
3/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp garlic powder

Process sunflower seeds and sesame seeds into a fine meal, then add yeast, salt and garlic powder and process until well combined.

It was so good, I wanted to eat it with a spoon. But I didn't because it's for tonight's dinner: zucchini "pasta" with puttanesca sauce from RFMEF1o2P. The sauce is made and I'm just waiting for Mad to come home to process the zucchini. I don't have a spiralizer, but I find that if I run the squash through the food processor with the shredding disk, it comes out a good size. I have walnuts soaking to make a pate tonight for topping salads to take to work this weekend, and I even washed all the dishes, so the kitchen is spotless. It's been a good day.

-Eloise

Day 37

2009-03-09T13:18:00.004-04:00

Happy, happy raw vegan ice cream... stay tuned!

My new blender is a thing of beauty. It's sleek and sexy with an entirely stainless steel base. It's quiet, yet powerful and has a smoothie button that whips greens into smithereens. In short, I love it (I have briefly paused to consider whether it is natural for a 23 year old to adore a blender so completely when it isn't making margaritas, but I suppose I was never one for convention anyway).

It sits on the counter next to the food processor now, occupying the space where the toaster and waffle maker used to reside. It arrived on Saturday, so after work, I unpacked it and immediately put it to use. So far I've made 4 green smoothies, Kristen's Cheezy Hemp Nacho Sauce (subbing the hemp with 1/2 c flax meal and adding more nutritional yeast), carrot, apple, ginger juice (pulp included), and butternut squash soup. Later, I'm going to make the ranch dressing from RFMEF1o2P.There probably would have been more blender usage, except Mad's been incredibly sick and really just starting eating a bit today, so I've mostly been cooking for myself.

She has been feeling better, though (and it was definitely a stomach virus), and tonight I orchestrated a delicious collaboration between my blender and food processor: chocolate, strawberry, cherry banana ice cream. Heh. At the end of last week, we had a bunch and a half of perfectly ripe bananas, so I froze them for later use. I also recently discovered Green and Crunchy, the blog of an amazing raw vegan mama of five (5!) raw vegan kids. Taking inspiration from her all fruit ice cream and having just stocked up on frozen fruit for smoothies, I made my own:

Cherry Berry Chocolate Ice Cream
4 frozen bananas
6 frozen strawberries
8 frozen cherries
4 TBS cocoa powder
Toppings (optional)

Pulse in blender until combined. Transfer to food processor and processes until smooth.

It was amazing. Madeline ate hers au naturale and I topped mine with dried coconut (and then I finished Mad's when she couldn't.... thanks, stomach bug!). This raw transition hasn't always been easy, but moments like this, the synergy between gastronomy and nutrition, are pure bliss.

-Eloise

Day 34

2009-03-06T19:37:00.006-05:00

I had a weird raw food moment today. I was at work and my supervisor was heading out to a farmer's market on her lunch break. She said, "I've really been craving veggies lately. I'm going to get a bunch of fresh vegetables and roast them!" And I smiled and nodded because she doesn't know I'm eating raw, but in my head I thought, You're going to kill them! It's an odd day when a plate full of cooked veggies seems unhealthy.

As for telling people I'm raw, I've decided not to volunteer the information. Everyone knows I'm vegan, which isn't a big deal in my circle of friends and acquaintances. I do hate when people start to rationalize their own behavior, though. "Oh, it's great that you're vegan! I only eat meat a couple times a week... And just chicken, never red meat... Only free range, of course." Really? Because most omnivores I know eat meat at least once a day, if not more. The poultry industry is far more revolting than the beef industry, and if you eat out and it's not advertised to the hills, that chicken has never seen a door to the outside world. I am generally not a preachy vegan (except to the Greenpeace volunteers who accost me on campus. Because, really, if you're trying to convince a college student who works three jobs to support herself to donate money to fight global warming, shouldn't you not be contributing to its major cause?). I think it's best to live by example and feed omnivores delicious food when given the opportunity, but I really hate apologists. Be unabashed or don't eat meat if you know it's wrong.

But I digress. Raw foodism seems to strike a different nerve in people. One of my coworkers at my weekend job is a 60-something Indian grandmother, and ever since she found out I'm eating raw, she takes every opportunity to tell me how unhealthy it is to eat cold food during the winter. I'm really hoping that will abate as the weather gets warmer, cause it's really irritating. And, of course, there's the ubiquitous protein comment. I don't know. Here's to hoping that the living by example works in this case as well.

Tomorrow is blender day! I'm so excited!

-Eloise

Day 33: Books

2009-03-05T11:59:00.003-05:00

I'm a reader. I love books, and I always have. I was the kid who got in trouble for reading under the covers with a flashlight half the night. Once, when I was around 7, I did something particularly atrocious (that I can no longer recall) and my punishment was to have my weekly library books taken away. All 13 of them.

In an effort to spiffy things up around here, I found this really cool widget: the Shelfari. I read a lot, so I'm not probably not going to list everything, mostly the books that I heartily endorse. Some will be raw, but others will just be for the pleasure of reading.

Fair warning: I'm in a bit of a Barbra Kingsolver glut at the moment. She's increasingly one of my favorite authors, and I just received four or five books of hers that I have yet to read from Paperback Swap (another really great site if you're a reader). So there might be an overabundance of her books on the shelf, but I'll try to limit myself to my favorites.

Day 33

2009-03-05T10:16:00.008-05:00

Our blender shipped out and it's supposed to arrive on Saturday. I'm so excited! And it's good, because I have been craving green smoothies lately. I've made one each morning for the past couple days, and despite the lime rind debacle the other day, even the bits-o-green that that require chewing haven't deterred me from enjoying them.

Heh, I just found my blender online on Amazon. It's a Toastmaster with a 350 watt motor and the first review says:
This is not a real blender. You have to blend in parts because it doesn't have power. Avoid my mistake to buy this garbage.

That about sums it up. The rest of the reviews are equally glowing. I'm very glad that I didn't pay money for it. The Breville blender we ordered actually has a smoothie button that goes through a program that blends and pulses to mix everything up. I watched a video online. It was very cool. I think that might make me very uncool. :) Don't care.

So the smoothie I made this morning rocked. I'm really wishing I had more, even though I had 24oz. I have these smoothie cups that I bought a year ago when I thought I'd get an Oster blender ( they attach directly to the blender to make single servings). Even without the blender, they're still really convenient for bringing smoothies to go. My only complaint is that they're kind of heavy, since they're meant to double as a blender container. So my routine is to make a smoothie in the morning, fill the to-go cup and drink the leftovers as I'm getting my lunch ready.

Here's today's recipe. Deceptively simple, but so good.

Blue and Green
About 3 cups spinach (not heavily packed)
1 cup blueberries
1 small banana
Water to desired consistency (I used about 1.5c)

Blend and enjoy!

I made myself a "milkshake" last night with frozen bananas, water, soaked cashews, vanilla, cocoa powder and agave, since I thought it was the meals-through-a-straw thing that I've been craving, but no. It's definitely the greens. The fruit and chocolate was nowhere near as satisfying.

In other news, Madeline is sick. She seems to have some sort of stomach bug and the fun details that implies, as well as being very dizzy and easily winded with a slightly elevated temp. She's just not feeling well at all. I'm not convinced that it's not some sort of hardcore detox, but it could also be the Noro virus, which has been taking out people left and right in our area. It's crappy timing, because she has an important certification exam she has to take for work, but there's not really much to be done beyond waiting it out. She home resting and taking in fluids today. *Feel better, lady.*

-Eloise

Day 31: BLENDER!

2009-03-03T11:40:00.004-05:00

One of the biggest obstacles in going raw for Madeline and I has been outfitting our kitchen with the right equipment. Basically, a food processor, a high speed blender and a dehydrator are critcal to making anything beyond a salad. We really don't have a lot of extra money, so saving up has been sloooow going. We did get the food processor last week, which was the least expensive of the three, and I have to say that it's changed my life; making dinner has gotten much easier.

On the expensive end of the spectrum, was the blender. The two that are constantly recommended in books and on raw sites are the Vitamix and the Blendtec, which both retail for around $400. I love green smoothies as a really easy way to take in a bunch of greens, but my free-from-my-coworker blender is pitiful at making them. Last night, the one I made wasn't too bad (some chewing involved, but it was tolerable), but I made the mistake this morning of following a recipe that said to throw in a whole, unpeeled lime. The taste was fine, but the chunks of lime rind that were in my drink had me gagging. Not good.

So, by coincidence, Mad came acorss a Breville blender that is the daily special today on Buy.com. It's normally $299, but for today only, it's $149.50: Buy.com's daily special

I did some research and here's the comparison at a glance:
Vitamix: 1380 watt motor
Blendtec: 1500 watt motor
Breville: 1000 watt motor
Oster Professional: 373 watt

So it's not as powerful as the "big two," but it's definitely beyond your typical blender. I found another review that said that the Breville 750 watt blender is the only blender at a lower price point that comes close to rivaling the Vitamix (source). By that logic, I figure that the 1000 watt must be even better.

I have no personal stake in this blender (other than hoping I made a good purchase!), but this deal was too good for me to not spread the word to others who have been lusting after a high speed blender. I'll let you know how it works when I've had a chance to try it out.

-Eloise

Day 30: snow day!

2009-03-02T16:05:00.003-05:00

There is nothing more disappointing than a snow day on your only day off. Oh well. It's still a good excuse to spend the day sleeping in and then lounging in pajamas on the couch, catching up with the DVR. It was definitely a day that called for comfort food, so for breakfast I went looking for a raw food pancake substitute. We don't have a dehydrator yet, which eliminated most of the recipes, but I wound up making an adaptation of Coconut Breakfast Cakes. My version is pretty different from the original, so I'm going to post what I did:

Coconut Breakfast Cakes
2 1/4 cup milled flax
3/4 cup shredded coconut
2 T almond butter
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup water

Mix in food processor until well combined and form into cakes. Top with fresh fruit if desired and enjoy!

They kind of tasted like bran muffins. I had mine with some sliced banana and Madeline topped hers with a little more maple syrup. Perfect comfort food.

-Eloise

Day 30

2009-03-02T00:00:00.002-05:00

I was hoping to make a March 1st post, but missed it by 30 seconds. Drats.

So one month raw! Whoo!

I got my food processor in the mail the other day, and it's been a regular gourmet feast around here. I've been so excited about it that there's a song and dance that accompanies my trips to the kitchen. So far, I've made:

Banana pudding from Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People
Hummus with crudites*, also from RFMEF1o2P
Pesto from here with zucchini "pasta"
Brownie Bites from The Raw Dessert
Marinara sauce, again with crudites, again from RFMEF1o2P

And our taste buds have been happy, but last night after the brownies, both of us felt rather ill. Way too much heavy, nut-based foods. So week, we're going to keep the desserts to a minimum and up the greens. But the food processor is AWESOME. I love being able to throw ingredients in there and have a great dip or sauce in a matter of seconds. And I used the shredding disk to make zucchini pasta and it was done in all of two seconds. Love, love, love it.

So one month raw. It's been good, but, admittedly, it hasn't been easy. There are times that one or both of us would kill for a french loaf. But for the most part, our entire way of eating has changed, no doubt for the better. I know that I feel better after eating, and I'm much more mindful about what I'm putting into my body. I've had almost no stomach aches and far fewer headaches, and my complexion seems to be a bit smoother and clearer.

The negative? Well, so far, I haven't lost a pound, which is a bit disappointing. Most of that, I'm sure has to do with the avocados and and nuts we've been eating, but it's kind of frustrating to alter everything about my diet and not see any significant physical changes. But honestly, I'm not willing to actually diet, to count calories and restrict myself when I'm hungry. I'm not overweight, I'd just like to look better in my clothes. And I think that what I eat will continue to evolve over time. We would not have made it through the first week without avocados, but it's been about a week and a half since we've had one. We made a lot of dressing in the beginning, but for the last week, I've been having spinach salads with red bell peppers and a couple olives, no dressing. We're getting used to eating more simply. And when it comes down to it, losing weight is not the bottom line. As the weather continues to get warmer, we'll hopefully get out and hike more, and I think that will help.

Onwards to the next month!

-Eloise

*Crudites, for those who don't know, are just chopped up veggies that can be eaten with dips. There's a "recipe" for it in RFMEF1o2P, which made Mad and I laugh when we first looked through the book, but now we find ourselves saying it all the time.

Day 25

2009-02-25T23:33:00.004-05:00

Lest you think it's all doom and gloom around here (or that my attempts to prepare food end in nothing but disaster), I made a soup tonight that Madeline raved about. It was a variation on the basic chowder from 12 Steps to Raw Foods. Here's what I my interpretation:

Tomato and Red Pepper Chowder
1 cup cashews
1 cup water

Blend until creamy

Add:
1 cup water
1/4 cup olive oil
1 cup zucchini
6 white mushrooms
2 cloves garlic
1 jalapeno with seeds
2 pitted medjool dates
Salt to taste

Blend again until creamy and pour into bowls

4 Roma tomatoes
1 bell pepper

Dice and add to chowder base.

And that's it! I thoroughly appreciate a successful night in the kitchen.

-Eloise

Day 24: a series of unfortunate events

2009-02-24T11:32:00.005-05:00

So our day off was a mixed bag. We had a giant raw salad before we left, so the whole day wasn't too bad. The forbidden food was good, but I felt slightly ill and uncomfortably full after eating. We ordered too much and wound up bringing some home with the intention of freezing it for another day off. But the temptation of having cooked food in the house is just too much for me, so we ate the rest the next day. We're still going to take the occasional day off, but hopefully make some better choices (i.e: not flour and refined sugar).

I think it was later that night that I was putting together another salad when the veggies took revenge. (For the squeamish- aka, you, Madeline- I injured my finger. Now skip to the next paragraph.) We had just purchased a new knife and I was using it to chop. Actually, when it occurred, I was pitting an avocado. You can imagine what happened: knife slipped and found my finger. Luckily it hit my nail, because I think it would have been a lot deeper had it not met that resistance. I think I was more shocked than anything. I had cut through and under my nail (so horizontally from the middle of my nail to the tip of my finger). I washed and bandaged it and consulted with my med school resident neighbor, so no doctor's visit. It actually doesn't even hurt that badly unless I bump it (highly not recommended), and it doesn't impede my knitting, which would drive me insane, but I have a feeling I'm going to be wearing a lot of bandaids until the giant crack in the nail grows out). Mad's taken on avocado pitting duties for the foreseeable future.

On Monday, I went to start the morning right with some fresh juice. We have an old juicer inherited from Madeline's mom that has been sitting in our cabinet for months. I don't know how old exactly, but Mad has no recollection of her parents ever using it when she was growing up (so maybe 25 years old). I painstakingly cleaned it, assembled it, plugged it in and flicked the switch. Excellent, it turned on (although it sounded like a chainsaw). The feed chute was tiny, so I got out my apples and carrots and chopped them all into small pieces. I turned on the machine again and... nothing. Tried one more time: a dull hum and ominous smoke. Thus concluded our adventures in juicing. As old as it was, I wouldn't have minded, but I'd tested the darn thing first, and I could have saved myself plenty of work.

So looking to save the apples, I looked for a recipe to use them in. We could have just eaten them, but I wanted something more. I found this apple pie recipe, which looked easy enough. I have this immersion blender with a canister thing that my mom has bought me (from all of $12) when I first left for college. I'd been using it frequently to coarsely grind nuts and seeds, as well as to mix salad dressing in tiny batches. So long story short, I loaded the thing up with half of the crust ingredients, and it blended a little and then... nothing. Two appliances in a matter of ten minutes! I think that's some sort of record. So breakfast was disappointing.

On the bright side, we ordered a food processor from Amazon last night, specifically this KitchenAid one, which seems to be well reviewed. I like the idea of the mini cup for mincing garlic and ginger, etc, and my fingers like the decrease in manual chopping. I'm hoping it will be a good bridge between now and when-we-can-afford-a-blender.

Yesterday was grocery day. We didn't need many staples (nuts, seeds, olive oil, nama shoyu, etc), so it was a pretty inexpensive week. We also already had carrots, tomatoes, jalapenos, medijool dates, mangoes and onions, most of which are imperative in our kitchen. Let me see if I can remember what we got:

Produce Market
Giant bag of spinach (think plastic grocery bag overstuffed with spinach leaves)
1 bunch kale
3 bunches cilantro (mostly for our rabbit)
1 bag white button mushrooms
1 bag brussel sprouts
2 lbs red bell peppers
2 lbs green bell peppers
6 small zucchini
3 cucumbers
1 large eggplant
3 large broccoli crowns
8 Valencia oranges
2 lb gala apples
3 containers of strawberries
bag of lemons
bag of limes
3 bunches of bananas
Total: $38
(I feel like I might be leaving something out, so I'll double check my list when I get home. I know the total is correct, though)

Trader Joe's
4 avocados (they were out at the produce place)
balsamic vinegar (biiiig bottle)
cinnamon
Total: $11

We usually get a few more produce items on Friday to get us through the last few days, so add $10-15, plus any treats we get during the week (like prepackaged raw treats or crackers). I don't think it's much more than the average grocery bill for two people. Stocking our kitchen was pricey, but I think we have a handle on how much of what we eat. I'm going to keep track.

-Eloise

Day 19

2009-02-19T12:25:00.002-05:00

Did I say that this had gotten easy? Cause that's funny.

Feeling confidant in the kitchen, I decided to create a healthier pate from cauliflower and mushrooms, which was wholly unsatisfying. Between the disaster of a dinner, homework and care for our special needs animals, I fell asleep without getting a lunch together and managed to oversleep in the morning. The water for my shower never got hot, so I washed my bangs in the sink and called it done and then tried to throw together a salad dressing, since we were low. I tried "golden elixir" from Raw Food Detox Diet, which seemed easy enough, but the 2 cups of fresh lemon juice was deceiving. I squeezed 9 lemons for a total of 1.5c, which took forever. The kitchen is still a disaster.

Needless to say, I was a few minutes late to class this morning. Would have been worse, but Madeline dropped me off so I didn't have to park and trek the quarter mile to the building. And so far, I've eaten 2 bananas, 2 oranges, all my chopped veggies and olives, and I'm still really hungry. I have 2 apples, a handful of pecans and an avocado to get me through the next 7 hours before I go home.

Luckily, we have a safety valve built into our plan. Once a month, we're going to treat ourselves to a cooked meal. Always vegan, but something we've been wanting all month. I think that having that safety net will keep us from giving up and abandoning raw food altogether. Tomorrow's a special occasion: Madeline is taking the oath for her American citizenship (she's Canadian). So it's a perfect excuse to indulge. After a morning like this, I really can't wait.

Day 18

2009-02-18T11:29:00.003-05:00

And we're back!

Apparently, I am a freak of nature in the Apple store. In it's third year, my MacBook is on its third hard drive and third disc drive. You would think that after the first crash, I would have make backups of my files, but no. I live on the edge. Sad to lose pictures and music, but I'll survive without the rest of the clutter.

And the raw thing. Well, we've passed the two week mark, and it's getting easier all the time. I've gotten in the habit of making triple batches of raw dressing to keep in the fridge. When we're pressed for time, it's really easy to grab a veggie and a little to-go container of dressing. I'm trying out different dressings to keep things interesting. First it was the Italian I talked about a while back, then it was a tahini dressing and this week we're doing a sweet mustard dressing from Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People. Love that book.

I've also gotten more adventurous in the kitchen. We've decided that Modays will be our day to go all out, calories be damned. It's my day off, so I have time to spend making something fancy in the kitchen. This Monday, I made peppers stuffed with curried walnut pate (again from Raw Foods Made Easy) and cashew cheese. Took some prep, but definitely worth it.

We have also discovered that our piece-o-crap blender (which was free from a coworker...who can begrudge free?) will handle soups pretty well, if a bit chunky. So last night I made an adaptation of the chili from 12 Steps to Raw Foods, which we topped with a bit of the leftover cashew cheese and had 2 ears of raw corn apiece. SO GOOD. And really quick. A little bit of chopping, but mostly just throwing things in the blender. I have the leftovers for lunch on a bed of spinach today, which I thought of snapping a picture of, but it looks like a hot (cold) mess after swinging around in my tiffin on the way to school. Oh well. I should try to do it as soon as I pack it, but the lighting in our apartment just sucks. I really can't wait to get a Vitamix, but with a bunch of unexpected vet bills this month, the saving is slow going.

I'm finding it really easy to throw together meals with so much fresh food and some basic staples in the house. I think I'll post a list of what we purchase the next time we get food (so Monday).

-Eloise

Day 10

2009-02-10T11:53:00.003-05:00

Huge paper due this week and my laptop decides to crash! Expect things will be a bit quiet on the blog front.

In short: We did our second raw grocery trip yesterday, which was much easier than the first. We went lighter on the greens, since towards the middle and end of the week, they weren't looking so hot. We'll do a mid-week run for them to keep our salads going.

We discovered a raw brand at Whole Foods this week: Go Raw. First we found the crackers and seeds, and then as we were walking through the aisles we came upon the cookies and cereal. It was like raw treasure hunt, and we are in loooooove. We bought a bag of chocolate granola and gingersnap cookies. As Madeline said this morning, the only thing more expensive would be cereal made of diamonds, but I really liked the granola that I ate for breakfast and the cookies which we shared last night were amazing. Because it's so expensive, it will definitely be a treat and not a staple in our diet, but it's really great to have options.

-Eloise

Correction

2009-02-08T10:46:00.002-05:00

So, it's Mad. I'm not actually anorexic. Thought that was a given, but perhaps I should clarify.

Enough of the doom and gloom.

Woke up with a tummy ache, and snarfed down a banana. I'm too sarcastic for blogging. Perhaps I'll keep my posts to a minimum.

That is all.

Appetite

2009-02-08T00:10:00.006-05:00

So, it's Mad. El's right - this blog is hers. In a rare attempt to partake in sharing my personal experiences thus far, I'm posting a short entry.

I agree, I have lost my appetite. El is very informed. When it comes to our rabbits, I am very informed. This whole raw thing was my idea, but El is the one who has done all the reading and research. So back to my appetite - I have none. Not a bad thing, except that for my job, I need to be alert. Well, who doesn't? But, I really do. Did El mention what I do? Well, not that it matters. I am surviving on guacamole, olives, and nuts when alone. Oh yeah, and tea. Not green tea, yerba mate. I like full bodied stuff.

I have this little quirk where I go around randomly making songs out of sentences. Well, El tolerates it.

My latest...

Anorexia

How I missed ya.

That is all. Goodnight.

Day Seven

2009-02-07T23:25:00.004-05:00

One week raw!

This is going to be a short post and not the book review intended, because I am exhausted. Nothing raw related, but my weekend job is much more physically labor intensive than my sedentary weekday jobs and I'm just not getting enough sleep (full time school plus three part time jobs is overwhelming at times).

Last night's lack of sleep was entirely my fault, but very much worth it. In a uncharacteristic display of social interactivity, Madeline and I went to my friend, Bridget's house for drinks. Which are not raw, but are included in my personal exception list (along with dark chocolate, maple syrup and aforementioned tea). It was a lot of fun. Brig and I have three classes together this semester, so we wind up working together frequently. I've been telling her about going raw, which she listens to very politely while partaking in Cheetos and Mountain Dew for breakfast. She thought to buy us a plate of raw veggies to snack on, which was awesome of her. She also bought hummus, because she didn't realize it wasn't raw, but Mad and I brought guacamole with us, so we were set. I think it was a good balance of conscious eating and sociability, which is incredibly important to me. I never had too much trouble going out with friends as a vegan, and similarly, I want to be able to enjoy every aspect of my life as a raw foodist.

Looking around the raw community, I see a lot of percentages being tossed around: 75%, 80% 90% raw%... I supposed if you wanted to argue semantics, Madeline and I have not gone completely raw. But I have no intention of berating myself when I've exchange my pasta and rice for heaping plates of veggies for lunch and dinner. It's a huge change. And so far, so good. I haven't had any of the major detox symptoms like flu symptoms or acne breakouts. I was getting hunger pangs between meals for the first half of the week, but for the last day or two, it seems like my body has adjusted to the amount and frequency of food. I'd even venture to say that I have more energy. I'm tired, certainly, but my body doesn't seem to be so heavily weighed down as it used to at the end of the day. It may be psychological at this point, though. It's still really early on in the game.

I had a little extra money this week, so I purchased The Live Food Factor, which I am very excited to read. The most critical review on Amazon complains that "[t]here are many many many references throughout the entire text of the book, making it a bit of a cumbersome read for me and making it feel a bit like reading a student's research paper", which is exactly the type of book I love. I want to hear the facts and be able to follow up with my own research by going to the original sources. I'm a bit fanatical like that.

This was not short.

-Eloise

Day Five: Poop and Fiber

2009-02-05T17:22:00.008-05:00

Okay. I'm going to tell you a story about poop, which is going to lead into my next entry, a book review. If you'd rather not get to know me that well, you might want to skip this one and come back a bit later. But I promise it's related, and I do have a point.

So growing up, food was never a priority for my parents. My brother and I never went hungry, but particularly as we got older, it was never given much thought. If it didn't come in a box, if it didn't go in the microwave, if it didn't come when you beckoned on the phone, we generally didn't eat it. By the time I was in high school, the menu was pretty fixed: Mondays were Chinese food, Wednesdays were Boston Market, Fridays were pizza night and most nights in between were a mix of Stouffer's frozen dinners and my Mom's ziti (huge batches of white pasta with jarred sauce and mozzarella-from-a-bag on top that were always in the fridge for the sole purpose of making There's nothing to eat in here! a factual lie). The only veggies we ate were baby carrots with ranch dressing and sad, limp, overcooked green beans. I used to sneak the green beans away from the table in my socks to throw them out later. To this day, I still can't stand the thought of them.

Needless to say, I was chronically constipated for pretty much the first 15 years of my life. And I didn't know any better. No one had ever asked and I'd never thought to tell anyone about my bathroom habits. I just figured that that was the way it was. When I was a teenager, I heavily used laxatives and diet pills, which helped, but of course were shit for my body (no pun, really). And until I met Madeline, I had never known that people pooped Every day! Happily! Easily!

I can't even remember how the topic came up, because really, at what point in your relationship do you go from discreetly checking your breath before the possibility of a kiss to talking about how often you poop? But anyway, she introduced me to the magic that is fiber. My grocery shopping habits began to revolve around fiber content, and suddenly, I too was a happy, daily pooper!

Until I really got into nutrition, though, I never actually looked into how it works. Actually, all this time, I thought that soluble fiber was the the only one that could be used by the body and that insoluble fiber just came along for the ride. That's somewhat true, but doesn't tell the whole picture. Those are the broadest category of classification, and you need both kinds. Soluble fiber dissolves in water and binds to bile (which is made from cholesterol) in your intestine to help it exit your system. It also slows digestion so that you can absorb more nutrients from your food and helps you to feel full and satisfied. Insoluble fiber helps to bulk up your poop and make it pass through your system more easily. Fiber keeps the sewer of your body in good working order.

And that's just one part of it. Diets high in fiber have been attributed to maintaining a healthy weight, lowering blood cholesterol and sugar, reducing your risk of diseases such as diverticulitis and digestive disorders, and may prevent cancer and help you to live longer (Tru fax! Tufts University doctors said so!)¹. All really good stuff. Fiber can only be found in fruits, vegetable and grains. Good, raw sources of soluble fiber include apples, citrus fruits, carrots and flax seed. An assortment of vegetables is your best source of insoluble fiber. You can't just eat apples and broccoli and call it a day, though. If you want to get specific, there are actually six subcategories of fiber and you want to eat a variety of fruits and veggies to get full benefit.

So tl:dr version: eat more fiber!

-Eloise

¹ The Facts on Fiber. (2009). Tufts University Heath and Nutrition Letter, 26(12), 4-5. Retrieved February 5, 2009, from Health Module database. (Document ID 1631975001).

Day Five

2009-02-05T13:57:00.003-05:00

Okay. Let's chalk up aforementioned "detox" symptoms as not eating. Which I highly do not recommend.

I feel really good today. I've gotten into a bit of a routine these past couple days that seems to be working well:

Breakfast: fresh fruit, usually a couple bananas as they're easiest to eat on my way out the door
Lunch: Large salad with lots of greens, some walnuts on top and some homemade dressing to dip on the side. The nuts really seem to make the difference between being satisfied and not. I have office hours from 11-1 every day I'm at school, so it gives me a chance to actually sit down and eat
Afternoon snack: fresh fruit usually consumed while walking across campus
Dinner: Large salad with avocado, guacamole if time permits
Dessert: A couple of squares of dark chocolate. This is not raw, but I definitely look forward to it.

Another non-raw indulgence I'm holding onto for the time being is tea. Actually, I don't know that I'll ever want to give it up. I don't drink a lot by most standards, I think, but I'm really attached to my green tea in the morning and my peppermint tea at night. I try to consume it an hour away, either before or after, from eating my raw foods.

I'm sure that being so busy and out of the house for so many hours of the day is making this much easier than if I had all the time in the world to think about food. Madeline has been on a short business trip (she gets home late tonight), and I'm curious to see how she's done out in the real world.

-Eloise

Day Four: part 2

2009-02-04T21:06:00.009-05:00

So let's face it, this is my blog, really, not Madeline's. I think I was hoping for more of a joint effort when we started, but it's something that I'm much more motivated to keep track of at this time. Maybe at some point there will be a guest appearance. ;)

I wanted to post some pictures as a baseline for the progress that I hear it going to occur. Plus, pictures are more interesting than all these words.

This is probably not as relevant as it could be to the intent at hand, but this is Madeline (on the left) and me a month after we started dating in 2004. We were omnivores at the time, and this was taken with a disposable camera.

Three years later in the summer of 2007. We had become vegans, but were living in different states at the time.

Another from the same time period. That was a really great summer.

And this is much more recent, from New Year's Eve of this year. At this point, we had been living together for about a year and a half. For the record, Madeline does not like this picture of us, but I think it's cute and one of the few recent ones we have. We're not really picture takers.

And there you have it.

-Eloise

Day Four

2009-02-04T11:35:00.005-05:00

Posting at lunchtime today during my office hours (I'm a TA at my school). I should be grading papers, but I'll get to that later. Lunch today is the Hearty Corn Salad from The Raw Food Detox Diet.I made it last night for dinner, but really hated the raw Cesar dressing that was recommended. I made more of my Italian dressing today, and it's 100% better. In the recipe, Natalia Rose says something to the effect of It's so hearty, you'll think you're eating stew! which makes me think she hasn't had stew in a long while. It's a good salad, but really, it's a freakin salad.

I've been thinking a lot about why we're becoming raw foodist. It's been bothering me since the first day when we weren't prepared with what to eat and Madeline said, only half jokingly, "We've become anorexic!" Now that's certainly not the goal, and nor do I want this to be a diet of deprivation. But I would be lying if I said that one of my main motivations for changing my eating habits was not to lose weight. It certainly is a primary driving force. My father has an extremely high metabolism and despite eating mountains of food, there is not an ounce of fat on his body. I didn't inherit that genetic gift. If I did, fatigue and chronic stomach and headaches be damned, I'd eat vegan lasagna, fried tofu and double chocolate chip cookies every night. I know that I'm not really overweight. I'm well within the range of healthy, but probably 10-15lbs from what I consider ideal. But if I don't have the body I want at 23, then when? Madeline has heard me say on more that one occasion in the past month, "When I have my raw body, I'm going to..."

So could I eat a healthier cooked vegan diet? Probably. But it's much more difficult to make small changes, harder to reframe the existing picture. It's better to start with a new picture entirely and work with a whole different landscape. I've been reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and was struck by this quote:

"Most of us are creatures so comforted by habit, it can take something on the order of religion to invoke new, more conscious behaviors- however glad we may be afterward that we went to the trouble."

She is referring to her family's efforts to eat locally for a year, but I find it to be very applicable to my current state. It goes beyond vanity, though. I have been reading as much as I can about diet, nutrition and raw food, and there's a lot of information out there. It's kind of overwhelming, really, to sort through the fanatical crap to get to the hard facts. But the more I read, the more I'm convinced that this is the answer. And if we stick to it long enough, it, too, will become a habit. It's easy to forget how inhibited I felt when I first became vegan when all I can remember is how easy it was before I began this raw transition. Over time, it became second nature, as will this.

-Eloise

Day Three

2009-02-03T23:41:00.003-05:00

Quick post before bed.

Today was my first raw day of school. I packed my tiffin in the morning full of salad, dressing, plums, apples and walnuts. It went pretty well. I'm generally so busy that I wasn't thinking about food, really. I think I could have benefited from the three-tier tiffin instead of the two, though. My days are regularly 8 to 10 hours, and I was certainly starving by the time I got home.

Madeline worked from home today, and I think as a result, she's having a harder time with it. I also think that our food variety is limited by a lack of time and equipment. We would really benefit from a good blender and dehydrator to make soups, nut butters, crackers, etc, but $800 just isn't in the budget at the moment. I need to make it a priority to go through recipes and find creative ways to keep us satisfied.

It may be psychological (or the fact that I *ahem* eliminated three times today), but I feel physically lighter. My head is still heavy and I'm kind of mucus-y, but this may or may not be the result of the cold I had when we started.

Here's to hoping that a couple avocados ripen for tomorrow....

-Eloise

Day Two

2009-02-02T23:33:00.005-05:00

Avocados are the answer.

Maddie succinctly summed up yesterday: "It went from YEAH to oh, to crap."

Today started out slow, but got much, much better. We slept in this morning, dawdling in bed. It set everything else back for the day, but really, the time we spend together doing nothing is very much worth it. The UPS guy came while we were still in PJs to deliver the To-go Ware Active Packs I'd ordered as a surprise last week, green for me, black for Mad. I had a coupon for 40% off and had placed an order while Maddie was out of town for training. I even managed to keep the secret until they arrived a week later, and if you knew me, you'd know that I suck at keeping secrets to myself, especially surprises. I get too excited and share the anticipation. That's the best part! I meant to take a picture for some visual interest, but we were rush heading out this morning and the lighting in the apartment is not great. It's much darker than I would prefer, and it's difficult to take decent pictures without natural sunlight. I'll take some in action in the near future.

So once we finally got out of the bed and out of the house, we made the rounds to return some cooked items and to purchase provisions for the week, mostly a metric ton of produce. It was kind of scary how much we managed to spend today, particularly considering that we were only trying to buy food for the week. We were able to get away with spending so little in recent months on crap: beans, bread, flour, etc. We weren't eating well, but we were certainly eating cheaply. I have a feeling, though, that we've bought more than we'll be able to consume in a week, but it's better than running short.

The day was difficult, as there was little for us to eat in the apartment. We had bananas for breakfast and brought apples to munch on, but we were starving again by the time we got home. We did have plenty of time to talk while running errands, though, and one topic was what we wanted out of being raw. Ultimately for us, it's not about the title or the classification of being 100% raw. At this time, things like raw spices are not of the utmost importance when they are such a nominal part of our diet. Rather, we're striving to eat as raw as possible, but don't want to feel like we're starving ourselves, either. It's not healthy, nor is it sustainable.

With that in mind, we picked up some vegan dark chocolate and a bottle of wine for dessert, which definitely helped to end the night on a better note. For dinner, I made a guacamole that I definitely see becoming a staple:

Guacamole

4 avocados, peeled and pitted

1 small red onion, chopped

handful cilantro, chopped

1 jalapeno pepper, minced

juice of 1/2 lemon

Mash together until well combined, but slightly chunky.

It was very, very good. We ate it rolled up in Swiss chard, which was satisfying, and I actually feel full tonight.

While we were out, we also picked up a bathroom scale at Target. We tried them out in store, and I think we were both shocked at how much we currently weigh. I know that the number is not the end all, be all, and I have to say that I felt pretty damn sexy rolling around in bed this morning, but we're both pretty far from where we started a year and a half ago. I think it will be good motivation to stick to our raw foods, even when the cravings get strong.

No real detox symptoms today. We're still fatigued, but that probably has more to do with not eating enough again for most of the day and then splitting a bottle of wine after dinner.

-Eloise

Day One

2009-02-01T22:58:00.009-05:00

Okay. This has not been an easy day.

I think for the most part, it's a result of a lack of preparation. Really, I read so much about what we should be eating, in terms of nutritional value, but didn't think about what would sustain us and make the transition easier. Plus, tomorrow is my only day off, so we're going to go downtown to the market, Whole Foods and a couple health food stores to buy a week's worth of groceries. In the meantime, we went to a local grocery store last night to pick up basic provisions for the day.

We started out strong: I had a cantaloupe and Maddie had strawberries for breakfast. I packed a decent amount of fruits and veggies to take to work. But we hadn't made a dip or dressing and I was tired of eating plain raw veggies before I was anywhere near full at lunch today. On the way home, I made an emergency stop at Whole Foods to pick up some cold pressed olive oil for dressing and made this:

Italian Dressing

1 large tomato

1 clove garlic

1/4 c water

1/4 c olive oil

2tbl lemon juice

1 tsp basil

1/2 tsp oregano

1/2 tsp salt

In blender, process all ingredients until smooth and creamy.

I would credit the recipe, but I saved a bunch of them in a text document and lack a source. It was good. I added extra lemon, which made it better. It definitely made "dinner" easier, but I can't really say we ate a meal, and I know we're both feeling pretty unsatiated tonight. All I can think about are starchy, cooked, carb foods. We spent a lot of time looking through recipe books and Gone Raw in preparation of our shopping trip, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It may have been better to wait until we could shop properly, but we were very determined to start right on the first, as planned. I think it's good, though. We had the opportunity to see what really doesn't work so that we can plan a better week for ourselves.

As for detox, for me it's hard to say. I started with a bit of a cold or something. I've just been feeling pretty run down and waking up the past few mornings with a sore throat, so I can't tell what's a result of that and what's caused by eating raw. It's probably too soon to tell, really. I had a low grade headache by the end of the work day, but that's not really unusual. I get headaches all the time, mostly from stress, and the minimal amount of food I ate certainly didn't help. One odd symptom that Mad and I are both experiencing, though, has to do with our eyes. I'd describe it as having difficulty focusing. When we were watching the Superbowl tonight, Maddie said that she wasn't physically tired, but her eyes felt so heavy. Again, though, it might just be because we haven't eaten enough. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

-Eloise

The beginning

2009-01-30T11:44:00.004-05:00

If you asked me five years ago if I would become a raw vegan foodist, the answer would have been an emphatic no. At the time, I was an omnivore who dabbled in vegetarianism (as in, I admired them, but lacked the commitment). But then, Madeline and I met, and one of the things that we shared was a love and respect for animals. Together, we became pescatarians, vegetarians, and then finally, three years ago, vegans.

It's always been about the animals, though, and within those parameters, we've always eaten whatever we wanted. Living together for the past year and a half has made matters worse. Left to our own devices, we have completely different eating habits. Maddie could eat the same thing day in and day out for months and never tire of it, so long as she sticks to a schedule and never feels hungry. I, on the other hand, get bored easily and like to experiment in the kitchen, but eat sporadically. Combined, we cook a lot, in large quantities, eat little throughout the day when we're at school and work and have heavy meals each night. The worst of both worlds. We've both gained more weight than we'd like and we definitely don't feel our best. The fried tofu and peanut butter cookies we make may be vegan, but they're certainly not healthy.

So about a month ago, we started talking about eating healthier, originally thinking about a regimented eating plan like Maddie used to eat. It sounded like torture to me. But then one night (literally, it was like 1am, we were in bed and had to get up early in the morning), Maddie pulled up sample menus from the Sunfood Diet Success System. Avocados, salads, coconut... it all sounded so good, and incredibly simple. We stayed up talking for hours, researching books to read, and decided that this was what we were going to do. We were going to be raw vegan foodists.

We didn't jump right into it, though. When we became vegan, it was a pretty quick transition, and every so often, we still say thing like, "I wish I could have tried xyz before." Maybe it's not very vegan of us, but we've never lapsed in our commitment. So we wanted to get into this raw thing without regrets. For the last month, we've been researching and reading, but most importantly, we've been on a farewell tour of our favorite cooked vegan foods. We have two final nights out planned for tonight and tomorrow, and then February 1st marks the first day of our raw life.

-Eloise