The biggest change occurred several weeks ago, though, and we've been dealing with the aftermath ever since. After 5 years, Madeline and I have broken up. It was swift and sudden, unexpected and devastating. Certainly we struggled with our fair share of friction inherent in a relationship, but I truly did not expect things to end this way.
Dividing a shared household is messy. I am moving out, into my own apartment, in one week. I am taking the two older cats, Ruthie and Naomi. Mad is keeping Fred and Ethel.
I am heartbroken, but committed to strength, creating a new life for myself and starting over. I am thinking about starting a new blog, single-girl-takes-on-the-world-kind-of-thing. Some cooking, some decorating, knitting. I will not post a link here, but leave me a comment or send me a message if you'd like to be notified. It's just an idea at the moment, though. It may not come to fruition.
The end of a relationship is like a death, in some fashion. The loss of what was, of who we used to be, and everything we had. There is no opportunity for reconciliation. We crashed and burned rather spectacularly. But I deeply mourn the loss of our potential. I wanted so much more.
I want to end this blog with a memorial of us when we were happy together.
November 2004, one month after we began dating:
May 2009:
The end.
-Eloise