Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 105

Nap time, apparently

It's not the best picture, but it definitely made me smile. Yesterday, I walked into the living room and found Madeline and all four of the cats asleep. The first thing I did was get the camera to take a picture. The second thing was to settle onto the end of the couch with a book.

Also. I get it. I've been wondering why I haven't been feeling the raw love lately and why I'm been so emotional. I've been frustrated and upset about things I thought I had moved way beyond, and I've been sabotaging my own efforts at getting healthier. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

As my diet improves and I eat more light and simple meals, I'm also getting rid of one of my main coping mechanisms for suppressing my emotions. I've had so much clarity and insight into myself these past few weeks, but I haven't made the connection to what I've been eating. But come on, that's what emotional eating is, filling an emotional void so we don't have to think about what's really bothering us.

I can see this now. So I'm going to try to work through what I've been going through, try to process it instead of putting it away. This summer is all about me, loving me, taking care of me. It's not selfish, I have to keep telling myself that. I need to take care of myself, and I will be better for it.

-Eloise

2 comments:

Jeremy Logsdon said...

As someone who has worked through tons of issues himself, both by myself and with the help of others, I can relate to what a tough process this is. Just be strong, face the truth, no matter how ugly it may be, and you'll feel better in the long run. If you need any help/info/shoulder, please let me know.

Maybe we are rabbits said...

Thank you so much, Jeremy. you have no idea how incredible it is to me to have the support. I'm so grateful to know you're out there following my progress and cheering me on the way that you do.

-Eloise