Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 115

My first durian experience was less than wonderful. The smell didn't bother me. The texture, though reminiscent of an omelet, as Madeline put it, was tolerable. But the taste. It had potential, but there was a strong garlicky aftertaste that made me gag. I tried, but I just couldn't do it.

It's been a rough day. With Memorial Day, I had one too many days off in a row. Madeline, of course, still works. I went for a long hike this morning, but I've felt aimless and gloomy all day. The air smells like barbecue, and this is alternately revolting and mouthwatering. I'm not hungry, but neither am I satiated. I feel like I'm not making progress, and instead of persevering, this makes me want to give up.

I know that I'm pmsing. It feels like such a cop-out, but it's like I'm a different person for almost two weeks every month. I lose all my inertia and become so pessimistic about everything. I just looked back in the archives to see the last time I mentioned pms, and it was on April 22nd. So right on time, I suppose. I never did get around to ordering evening primrose oil supplements, but I suppose I should.

I read somewhere that the music your favorite music as a teenager will be your favorite style of music for the rest of your life. I strongly suspect this to be true, since no matter which of my favorite songs or artists I put into Pandora, I seem to come up with the same station. For me, Ani Difranco got me through many of those angsty years, and even now, I always go to her to first. She's so prolific that there's always something that fits my mood. It's like comfort music

These two have been on repeat today:

Present/Infant (full lyrics):

don't let the sellers of stuff power enough
to rob you of your grace
love is all over the place

there's nothing wrong with your face
love is all over the place
there's nothing wrong with your face



Evolve (full lyrics):

and i'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which i believe just signifies
i'm finally waking up



So what's your comfort music?

-Eloise

1 comment:

Unknown said...

So funny, here is my Durian experience http://yogaddiction.blogspot.com/search/label/stinky
I love Ani too!